October 7, 2011
I think planning on going to Occupy Wall Street jinxes me. I was going to go last Friday and then it started pouring down rain, so I didn’t go. Tonight I was going to go after work, but I’m too tired to go. I’ve really been trying not to whine about work on here, and I’m not, I’m just stating the facts. And the facts are that someone at work is on vacation, so I have to get there around ten in the morning and if work comes in at night I have to stay till it’s done. So even if I get out at 10 PM, it’s a twelve hour day. Today was close to 13 hours, so I’m not going down there, maybe tomorrow, since I can sleep in on Saturday.
And there’s another reason and I try to be honest on this blog, so I’m just going to come right out and say it (warning, this may be gross to some people): I have diarrhea tonight and was afraid to be too far away from a toilet. You know, I was thinking about it and why should you feel funny about having diarrhea? It’s not like it’s my fault, but people will rarely divulge when they have diarrhea, except to family and close friends. To me it’s no worse than saying you’ve got a cold or a headache. And you may think this is weird, but if I’m home or in a safe place with easy access to a toilet, I kind of like diarrhea. The cramping part in the stomach is bad, but once it starts flowing out of you, it feels really good. And no one can deny that it does. I took a taxi home tonight and really had to go bad by the time I got home. I just made it in my apartment just in the nick of time, sat on the toilet and started reading the latest issue of Rolling Stone. The cramps were bad and actually made me sweat, kind of like I was in labor, but then the chocolate rain began and all was well in my world. I let out a sigh of relief, it sounded a little bit like I was having an orgasm. In reality, I was having an assgasm. Hey, I just made a new word!* Cool. I also found out that Lou Reed and Metallica have a single out. It got four stars. Crazy, huh?
Since I don’t have any photos, I’m just going to post some YouTube videos for your enjoyment and have a few beers and try to get to bed and get some much needed sleep. But first, I gotta go. And I mean, I really gotta go! See you tomorrow after dark.
*I Googled, “assgasm” and it’s not a new word. Fuck.
Further reading: Medicine Net, Wikipedia and Stereogum.
That’s the way it will be.
That’s the way it will be.
That’s the way it will be.
(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)
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Bonus Photo From Bobby Williams!
Bobby Williams is a contributing photographer to EV Grieve and sends me a photo now and again. This is one of the red tailed hawk who's taken up residence in Tompkins Square Park in the East Village. Great photo, thanks, Bobby!
32 Comments
Reader Comments (32)
I was always told that the only good that diarrhea ever does is if you have a lot of reading to do and you can sit on the john and get it done. The only other reason diarrhea would be good would be if you were in jail and your cell mate started to put the moves on you...Handy excuse
What 'Occupy Wall Street' really wants
@Mike Hunt: Ha ha ha! Two more reasons to love diarrhea!
@GENE: That column shows that the writer isn't too aware of what's going on down there. He writes that it's "college kids and borderline celebrities" occupying the space. From what I've seen and read, that's hardly the case. This week unions came out in support of Occupy Wall Street. And they don't have a list of demands as far as I can see, they're just against greed and corruption. It's about CEO's getting huge bonuses while the rest of us are taking pay cuts and losing jobs. I'm going down tonight and will write more tomorrow.
Thanks for the Eddie Vedder tribute to the Ramones. Made my day!
@MAD ..... I see what you're saying ... but that's life. We can't all be rich - and we can't all be poor. If they don't like their life - do something about it. Protesting isn't going to accomplish a damn thing - except drive up the NYPD's overtime (which is at $3,000,000+ now). With no actual objectives to achieve - what the F do these people think is going to happen ? ... bankers walking out and handing them bags of money like it's Halloween candy ? It just seems stupid to me. It would be like me protesting in front of your stoop that you live in NYC -- I live in Baltimore -- and it's not fair. My objective would be for you to move out -- hand me your keys -- and you pay my rent for me. As ridiculous as that may be - it seems (to me) to be the same thing as these people occupying Wall Street.
Nothing like a good dump... again and again and again and again.
I think it's the "Hollywood Diet".
(shit your eyes out for a few days to drop those unwanted lbs.)
Speaking of Your 'Brown Eye'...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0aT0GXW8jw
@Spike: That was the last song the Ramones ever played together on. A great clip, glad you enjoyed it!
@GENE: I sent you an email, but I know first hand what they're protesting about. It's not about asking for free money, it's about CEO's getting rich off of a bad economy and giving themselves bonuses while the rest of us lose jobs and have to take pay cuts. Anyway, it's all in my email to you. I'm going to try to go down tonight and I'll have photos of the people down there tomorrow.
@"Boris": Ha ha ha! Great clip, Daddio!
@MAD .... my mindset would be: if you like the CEO's life - and your life isn't fair ---- then go to college and become a CEO ........... start your own business .......... do something.
I'm not arguing with you .... and I understand your point ........ I can see both sides --- and that is just the way life is -- whether we like it or not.
Good luck down there tonight ! ..... don't get arrested, beat up, maced, etc., etc., etc ...... seems a little dangerous in that area lately :(
@GENE: It's not about wanting a CEO's life, I don't think most people down there want that, certainly not me, it's about greedy people feeding off of a bad economy and screwing the people who work for them. Thanks for the good luck wish for tonight! Maybe I'll find a bar down there to hit afterwards. I'll drink a couple to the BBC!
Marty if it makes oyu feel any better.. I pee almost every hour.. worse if i have coffee..
so yesterday i had to drive to Indy.. a three hour drive.. nada in the middle of the drive for miles..
had to pee.
stopped along the cornstalks..
lookded for psycho killers with machetes.
pulled where no one could see my car..
and went in and peed..
and peed alot...
aww the power of corn!
@MAD .......... Lilly O'Brien's ... or Biddy Early's !
I don't really have a problem with the CEO's, I just don't like stockbrokers creating money for themselves out of thin air manipulating the stock market
NSFL!! Not Safe For Lunch, lol.
Marty - do get down to Occupy Wall Street when you can. There are so many misconceptions out there that the protesters are just a bunch of young lazy hippies. Not true! Each time I've been there, I've seen people just like me (employed, middle class, college educated), young people, old people, veterans, students, union workers, parents, the over-qualified and unemployed, wealthier people who can't stand corporate greed...all types. It's not about being jealous of the rich, it's about being angry that we (taxpayers) bailed out the banks that continue to screw us and collect massive bonuses. No one from Wall Street has gone to jail for what they did to our economy and this, as many see it, is criminal.
Must be all those sliders you've been eating, Marty.
@Gidget: You're the adult of the corn! To corn!
@GENE: Great choices!
@anothersatisfiedcustomer: I agree, although I hate CEO's who dictate a pay cut for employees and then give themselves and management big bonuses.
@Goggla: "No one from Wall Street has gone to jail for what they did to our economy and this, as many see it, is criminal." Well said!
@Uncle Waltie: You may be right! Slide ahoy!
Those campy movie snippets are too much. Angel Tompkins was a real sexpot in The Teacher. She was discovered by Woody Allen, of all people. Bet Woody got a woody with her. Looks like your "working things out" with your diarrhea. Saw the NBC nightly news with Brian Williams the other night, a segment on the protestors in NY, he said "something happenin here, what it is ain't exactly clear". I just don't understand it but I know jobs are hard to find right now. What exactly do the protestors want? Every time I see a report on the news about this, and they interview the demonstrators, they bring up a variety of complaints. Is it the Banks, the wealthy, the lack of good paying jobs? No doubt things are bad, but I just don't see an end result. Too many issues here. I say let's bring our troops back from Afghanistan and stop spending our money over there. Use that money to create jobs here.
Due to the nature of some of today's videos, I declare today Ed Gein appreciation day and challenge all commentors who can remember them to come up with the best 'Geiner' you've ever heard, brush off the dust and post it!
Example; Q - What did Ed Gein say to the sheriff who arrested him? A - "Have a heart"
Q - Why doesn't anyone like to play poker with Ed Gein? A - They're afraid he might come up
with a good hand.
For anyone from the midwest who grew up near Wisconsin in the late fifties and sixties, Ed Gein was a jokester's hometown hero, a kind of loco boy made good. Virtually every escaped maniac movie involving a psycho with a mask on his face owes it's existence to Ed Gein. Deranged, Alfred Hitchcocks 'Psycho', the Texas Chainsaw Massecre and God alone knows how many late sixties and early seventies late night double feature macabre drive in movie delights were inspired by my homie...Ed Gein.
Geiners! GEINERS! I WANT YOUR GEINERS!
@MAD: To quote a guy who works in Harlem, "I feel your pain."
It seems to me that tagging the Wall Street occupation as simply anti-corporation is more a media simplification than anything else. Sure, people are upset that the corporate bigwigs gave themselves giant raises and bonuses, but that's more of an issue with the buy-out legislation not specifically prohibiting such acts than the fact that the buy-out occurred to begin with. I think it's pretty evident that the economy would have completely collapsed had the government not stepped in and poured money into the banks/auto manufacturers/etc. The real issue lies in the fact that the legislators are so beholden to their respective lobbyists and corporate kickbackers (illegal though they are), that they're afraid to write bold legislation that not only protects the little guy by saving the system from implosion, but simultaneously eliminates any possibility of those at fault from profitting on the backs of the general public. The deregulation that Reagan championed has created a world of behemoth corporations, and the tax incentives that the Clinton and Bush era Congress passed has allowed those corporations to move almost all production off of our soil and into countries with lower tax brackets and cheaper labor. Unless Congress finds their balls and creates some sort of negative consequences for the corporations that have chosen to abandon the United States and their workforce here, those corporations will just continue to eliminate American jobs and turn around to sell us cheap shit...until we can't even afford the cheap shit anymore.
My friend who lives in New York and went to the protest said this to the local media: "I'm here because I want DC to see 2 more people who will support courageous legislation for the weakest among us." Congress and the President need to see how many people want change, and I think that this occupation - which is now spreading to cities across the country, both large and small - is doing something to accomplish that. Voices and numbers matter. Til we outnumber 'em, right?
@Biff - better said! Need to put that on a sign...
@Al: "Is it the Banks, the wealthy, the lack of good paying jobs?" It's all of that and it's about corruption in business and politics where very few control the wealth of this country and are making it hard on the others. At least that's what I get from it. I love those old movie trailers too!
@Jaws: Great idea! What did Ed Gein say to the cops who busted him? "Have a heart."
@csp: Please stop touching my pain, it's freaking me out!
@Biff: I agree with Goggla! Well said, indeed! You need to get down here and give a speech, you're thoughts are right on the money. Well, they're right on, the money's in short supply these days! Thanks for the comment! You explained it better than I ever could! There will be photos from it tomorrow!
On a separate note, did you hear that diarrhea's hereditary? Yep, it runs through the genes.
@Biff: No shit.
Good place to go afterward is either the Reade St Pub, or the Patriot. Personally I'd start at the Reade St Pub, then when I was sufficiently trashed, go to the patriot. The Raccoon wouldn't be a bad choice either come to think of it.
@Biff: Ha ha ha! You still gots it, Bifferoonie!
@Mike Hunt: All good choices! I might end up just going home afterwards though, I'm not a fan of Friday nights in most bars. Although the Financial District does empty out early after hours. I'll improvise as always! Thanks for the suggestions!
Back in the early 80's there were a few bars in Manhattan that had Yuengling Porter on tap (this was long before Yuengling Lager in just about every bar). My friends and I would often go to one of them and drink copious amounts of the stuff. Invariably the next morning we'd share stories about the after-effects, which came to be known as The Chocolate Squirts. To this day I still refer to bouts of diarrhea as The Chocolate Squirts.
@Ken K. in NJ: Ha! The Chocolate Squirts would be a great band name!
wow...this OWS thing...aw hell can;t get started on that...be safe MAD if you go...i mean this OWS crowd are devious...like they tricked the nypd into corrallin' them on the bridge and then fooled the nypd into pepper sprayin' some from less than a foot a way...yes this OWS mob is a gaggle of tricksters...back on topic sorry to read about your ailment...personally i'm not into to this...'cause the cheap recycled tp i have really has a tendency to make my ass sorta raw...
“You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.”
Jack Handy
rr
I'm really sorry assgasm was already a word.
Very disappointed that you didn't coin that word, it is pure genius. Someday, Marty.... you should have your own dictionary of crazy new words!
@rr: I like the sarcasm in your comment! And once again, a genius and perfect quote!
@kari: I can't tell you the disappointment I felt when I Googled assgasm and found out I didn't own it. A cruel and bitter defeat for sure!
@Lindsay: That's a good idea! A dictionary of fictional words...a fictionary! I'm sure I own that one! Thanks for the inspiration!
And Bobby, love the photo, beautiful hawk!