August 8, 2011
Tonight I thought we’d have a dinner and a movie here at MAD. I didn’t get a cheeseburger last night, so I thought I’d cook one at home and have a nice stay at home Sunday dinner. And I got a movie from a friend of mine at work called, “Captured.” It’s a documentary about photographer Clayton Patterson who has been documenting the Lower East Side in pictures and video since 1979. It’s a great film with wonderful New York imagery and I’ll post a link to where you can watch the film in its entirity for free. But first...it’s time to eat! Well, I have to cook it all first.
Here's all the ingredients for tonight's Sunday dinner.
Instead of a bun, I thought I'd have an English Muffin to house the burger. Before I cheese them up, i'm going to toast them in the toaster oven. Away you go.
I'm grilling a chopped up onion in the electric skillet.
Okay, the muffin nice and toasty brown, so it's time to add cheese to them. And tonight we're using two cheeses, Velveeta on the right and Provolone on the left. Okay back into the toaster oven you go!
Okay, now I've added some pre-cooked bacon to the onion mix. You can buy cooked bacon at the store now, I never knew! Oh the miracles of modern foodism.
Okay, the onion/bacon topping is done, so I've put that off to the side and thrown the burger into the skillet. I've seasoned it with pepper and mustard powder.
We'll cover it and have an appetizer while everything cooks.
I was inspired to cook at home tonight after reading Britta's latest Justice Girl post at her blog. She had a photo of popcorn dusted with chili powder, so I thought I'd try that myself and here it is!
And of course whenever you have popcorn, you have to have a beer or four. And look, a lone bottle of tea has snuck into my refrigerator. How did that happen?
And now a little intermission time as we enjoy the beer and popcorn.
Okay, back to the dinner. The muffins are properly cheesed off.
And the burger is all done. I've melted a slice of Velveeta on top of it. This is going to be one cheesy burger!
Okay, time to put it all together. The burger's on the muffin and a dollop of mustard is added, much to Kari and Britta's delight!
And it's topped off with the bacon and onion mixture.
And here's the meal with some of the chili powder popcorn as a side dish.
That is a tasty burger! And now for the movie portion, just click here and you can watch the entire movie, "Captured" for free. Enjoy and see you tomorrow after dark.
Further reading: The Fader, The Villager, Brooklyn Rail and food•in•mouth.
You Might Also Like: Eclairs, e e cummings and esquared.
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Rachel Ray
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(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)
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Bonus Cardboard Box Man Sightings!
Gene sent in this TV CBBM sighting and writes, "Look who has been spotted in a Sonic commercial UFB!
And Kate, from One More Folded Sunset sent in CBBM mutated as a door at The Commonwealth Bar in Brooklyn. Aaaah!
30 Comments
Reader Comments (30)
As much as that burger looks yummy .... all of that cheese might have sealed my mouth shut for a week !
Stay cheesy, man.
Marty, I'm watching the lower east side movie as I write. My aura is starting to fade and I feel a disturbance in the "force". I like your stuff better! Your blog brings peace and sillyness to my inner, uh, I don't know, being. Yeah, that's it, BEING! I'll try watching a bit more but it's way too gritty for my sensitive palette. I think New York City would hurt my little feelings. You are a tougher guy than me, Party! You make New York City a lot more fun on your blog. So, what's the truth ? Is it a cruel, sadistic, hellhole, with no love, or just a place with an odd diversity of quirky folks? Help me understand, Master, I mean, Marty.
I love that documentary. It makes me sad though because by the time I moved here 10 years ago, a large portion of the old New York I grew up with and loved had already faded. Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
Five questions and a suggestion.
How long did it take to prepare this gourmand tour de force?
How much did it cost to acquire the ingredients?
Was the prepared meal cheaper then take-out?
What would you call your cooking extravaganza show, The Bachelor''s Budget Gourmet?
What will your annoying catch-phrase be?
Since this is the food network, could you add some inappropriately exotic ingredient that obnoxiously screams, "Foodie!" ? (ie. ground black stone cherry preserve)
Looking forward to your response, I should note that you will have to print all of your own promotional food network materials, but you seem to have some experience in that department.
Regards, the Pretend food network
@GENE: It was tough to speak after eating it! UFB!
@Cheez Whiz: I'll try my best!
@Danny: It's kind of a mix of all of the above. I think you'd like it out here.
@Brian: I moved out here 18 years ago and feel lucky to have caught the tale end of things like Times Square when it was still somewhat seedy before it turned into a Disneyland. There's still a lot of cool things out there, although they are slowly disappearing. Enjoy them and the city while you can! And support the cool local places, although I'm sure you do.
@csp: It took about 45 minutes to put the whole thing together. As far as the cost, I think it was about thirty bucks, but a lot of it I didn't use and will use throughout the week. Cheaer than takeout? That depends where you're taking it out from. I'll get back to you on the name and annoying catch phrase later in the day, I need to brainstorm! And as far as exotic ingredients, hey, I used Velveeta cheese, that's not exotic enough for you?
Ok,,,I will see the documentary today but first let me say what a delicious muffin burger you cooked up. I like the details, step by step process, I would of added pickles also. Now that Rachel Ray 40 bucks a day parody was an absolute gem,,,,probably the funniest thing I've seen here in a long time.
I think you are right! I'm watching more of "Captured" and it's turning out to be one of the best films ever! Clayton Patterson is a genius! Really cool photography and art. I love the designer caps! Now, I have to watch the rest. I'm hooked!
The cheeseburger looked like a masterpeice, but I would have gone with cheddar as opposed to Velveeta, and you can't go wrong with provelone to the best of my knowlege...one of my absolute favorites! Hey Marty...want to kick up some fireworks with your next cook at-home post? Why don't you invite this guy over to supervise your culinary technique? PfwaHA!!
http://youtu.be/UjE-cBDFphQ
Cardboard Box Man CONTINUES TO EVOLVE! HE'LL BE USING TOOLS BEFORE LONG!! WAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!!
@Al: You know I never used to like pickles on my burger, but I do now. Next time I'll slice up some spicy pickles to add to the mix. And yeah, I love that Rachel Ray clip, it's from MAD TV, how fitting, huh?
@Danny Maness: Glad you're enjoying the film more, it's a great documentary.
@Jaws: I like chedddar too, in fact there's not a cheese I don't like. I think if Gordo came over I'd end up whacking him with the electric skillet upside his noggin! And yes, CBBM is mutating in scary and evil ways! Aaahhhh!
Thanks for the movie - I'm going to watch it later today. But Marty, organic provolone? I'm shocked!
@Jaws: When you buy a tool what does it come in? The answer is a cardboard box.
@OMFS: Marty is not cardboard, he is human. Humans make human mistakes, he probably read that the provolone was orgasmic.
Orgasmic Valley? I guess it could be a new whole foods brand.
@One More Folded Sunset: I bought it to counter balance the Velveeta!
@CBBM: Oh no, he's invaded the comments section...aaaaahhhh!
@csp: I"ve thought of the name and catch phrase for the MAD cooking show. The name: "The Bob Crane Cooking Hour." My annoying catchphrase: "I'm going to bludgeon the fuck out of this thing." The phone's ringing, it's got to be the Food Network!
@ CBBM; HUUUUHNOOOOOOOOOO!! WAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!! KEEP AWAAAY!! KEEP AWAAAAAY FROM ME!!!
@MAD: Sorry, but we already shot a sandwich show pilot with Hogan's Heroes pilot Bob Crane called Hoagies and Heroes. Like Colonel Hogan's B-17, it bombed and was shot down. The test audience said Crane seemed both lifeless and perverse. Crane also demanded an inordinate amount of photographic equipment. In regards to your potential catch phrase, it is too similar to that of another show we have in the works. In our upcoming series, "Midnite Snax with O.J." his catch phrase is, "That bitch is sliced and diced!"
In conclusion, you also did not prepare your dish in the allotted time, you did not use a mystery ingredient, and you went over-budget in your meal. Marty, pack up your knives, you will not be the next food network star.
@1morefoldedsunset: We already have a product line called "Orgasmic Valley" coming out in conjunction with the Adam and Eve retail chain.
Damn Marty! Can you please make ME one of those cheeseburgers?!!
Nicole Parker is so HOT!! Marty, please don’t buy those ready to go burgers, make your own. I’ll email you some shots of a Tupperware heirloom I got from my mother.
Marty--homemade is usually the best--2 cheeses--yum--I like the chili pepper on the popcorn too. I am a foodie you know. Ijust ate some popcorn drizzeled with a bit of honey. YUM!!!Hi cardboard boxman and Gumby. I want to chill on the 14th--let me know details. Even though I do not really drink--I like to chill and dance.
@csp-producer: Ha! Oh well, there's always the Oygen network!
@Crazy Eddie: Okay, the next time I'm buying a cow in your honor and they will be real homemade burgers! I look forward to seeing the heirloom!
@Melanie: It is nice to cook at home now and again. And I'll be sending out an email today or tomorrow about the upcoming Chillmaster party!
that burger is pure perfection Marty! Hey, did you ever try bacon flavored popcorn! its fabulous ~
@Green Monkey: I've never had bacon flavored popcorn, but I have had bacon infused vodka. I don't recommend it, after a few shots I turned into a real swine!
@MAD: Glad to hear you are still enthusiastic. Good luck with Oxygen. Word has it they named the network that because they will air anything. I should mention that I had to also give demerits for the precooked bacon. There is something just not kosher about that.
@csp-pfnp: Ha ha ha! Nice call on Oxygen! And yes, I think you're on to something with that bacon bit.
Finishing off the last twenty of a Steel Reserve Two-Eleven forty. Beautiful, full-bodied lager and at just over two buxx a helluva deal. Absolutely enough for a weekend's drinking for a grrl - I do want to keep my nine-and-a-half stone figure.....;>.........
Glad to inspire, Marty - I do love spectacular food and that popcorn was a great start to a wonderful meal. Thanks for the shout-out! But seriously - why ruin a good burger with mustard!? Gah.
Green Monkey has the right train of thought by the way - we saved our bacon fat from our organic, Mennonite pig and use it to pop popcorn in a pot. It's just lightly coated with it but the taste is insanely good.
@lzzrdgrrl: You do know how to drink! Steel Reserve is "Slow Brewed For a Minimum of 28 Days." Cheers to you and to your nine and a half stone figure!
@Britta: That bacon popcorn sounds fantastic, all it needs is a little mustard to make it perfect! And thanks for the inspiration, the chili dusted popcorn is great!
See that's what I get for not reading in order. Didn't know the english muffin burger was already a trend. Yours looks great, except for the part you know about. Love the surprise link! And yes to @Al's pickle suggestion. Just switch out the mustard for pickles and you have a perfect burger.
@kari: I'll ad the pickle, but will never switch it out for the mustard! Some things are sacred!