Marty After Dark - Almost Live...From New York

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Wednesday

Apr202011

April 20, 2011

As those of you who follow this blog (and I appreciate each and every one of you) know one of the many blogs I read daily is Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York. Yesterday Jeremiah posted about Sardi’s bar and about how the swizzle stick is yet another vanishing item in our culture. I never thought about it, but probably should, I did go to 365 bars last year after all and I chewed on plenty of those crummy little red plastic thingys they put in mixed drinks these days.

The comments section on that post was quite lively and fun. One anonymous commenter wrote that he had a collection of glass swizzle sticks. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a glass swizzle stick. After I read that I obsessed over it all day. I went to 365 bars in 365 days and never got to see, much less keep, a glass swizzle stick. What a fucking gyp!

So, tonight I’m off in search of the oh so elusive glass swizzle stick. The commenter from the JVNY post mentioned two of the places where he got his, but searching around on the internet, they appear to have vanished. I went back and consulted my bar list. Maybe I got one and was so drunk caught up in my bar crawling duties I didn’t even notice it. I immediately thought of the King Cole bar in the St. Regis Hotel. But check out the picture below:

Plastic! And I paid nineteen bucks for that thing and I don’t even like tomato juice! I only got it because it was their specialty drink. Then I remembered going to the Oak Bar. I went there because they had some goofy-ass drink they had invented called, “The Mel Gibson.” Remember Mel? Remember the phone messages? Aaahh, the good-old pre Charlie Sheen days. Let’s check out my drink there:
Plastic! Motherfucker! And I payed over twenty bucks for that shit and it tasted like three-year old rat piss.

Okay, back to the list. I feel much like an old MTV hit when I say, “Aha!” Sir Harry’s in the Waldorf Astoria!
I had a beer in there, so I can’t be 100% sure, but it’s worth a trip back. The people that work there were really nice to me and told me that Johnny Depp had recently been in and left a 100 dollar tip. You know Johnny Depp demands a glass swizzle stick, so let’s go check it out.

I had to work late and it's after one in the morning, luckily Sir Harry's is open till 2:30 am.

Taxi!

And we're off.

And here we are, the Waldrof Astoria, the home of Sir Harry's.

The green stairs match my Gumby bag.

They still have the Lena Horne album on display. I love this album cover.

And here's Sir Harry's, looks like we beat the last call here.

Wow, it's more crowded in here than I thought it would be, but I spy a seat at the end of the bar. Let's snag it.

I've been sitting here for over five minutes and the fucking bartender hasn't moved. He's talking to some couple and I just want to get my glass swizzle stick and get out of here. It's loud and loaded with drunk tourists, all happy to be paying ten bucks for a draft beer. Sheesh!

Jesus fucking Christ, it's going on ten minutes! I'm not going to be ignored, Dan!

Finally after coughing and waving my arms like an epileptic after three hits off of a crystal meth pipe I got a drink. I ordered a double gin and tonic. Check out the swizzle stick...one word: Plastic. Talk about your Dustin Hoffman moments. A real fucking disappointment.

And I can't even tell what the design is supposed to be. From my perspective it looks a little like an alcoholic Hula Hula Girl. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson. Let's get out of here.