December 21, 2011

Okay, it’s Tuesday night, the night I go out in hot pursuit of a swizzle stick. I haven’t had much luck lately, but I thought of a place that just might have swizzles, The Hard Rock Café in Times Square. It would be a decent little souvenir for a tourist and I’m sure the drinks are overpriced there, so they certainly can afford it. Plus, I don’t think I’ve been in a Hard Rock Café in over a decade, it might be interesting to go and check it out.

Kind of a drizzly, lonely night out here.

Well, things are brighter here in Times Square, let's go check it out.

Welcome to the Hard Rock Cafe.

They have TV sets up here, showing live feeds from other Hard Rock Cafes around the world. What's funny is that there's not much difference in any of the feeds, they all look the same.

Okay, let's go check out the bar.

Wow, it's really noisy in here and it's packed.

No seats here just people yakking on cell phones and staring aimlessly at a big tourist trap.

Goddamn, this part is all filled up too. And there's a bad Genesis song booming over the speakers. I'm beginning to think this was a bit of a mistake.

I finally found an empty seat at the end of the bar.

The bartenders were busy and it wasn't easy to get a drink, but when I did...

No swizzle stick, just a giant black straw. This night isn't going too well.

There's tons of multi-colored lights hanging over the bar and it's kind of giving me a headache.

Alanis Morissette is now blaring over the speakers and on the video screens over the bar. This is really a horrible place.

Save the planet and stop making Hard Rock Cafes.

And suddenly...Bill Wyman's jacket. Well, that certainly makes the trip worthwhile! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Hard Rock Café
1501 Broadway (Near 43rd St.)
212-489-6565

Further Reading: New York Magazine, NY Times (check out the snide Peoria reference!) and 360.

As I walk through,
This wicked world,
Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity.

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Bonus Linkage From Jason Andersen!
MAD reader and commenter Jason Andersen is an artist who just put up a new website. Jason does amazing artwork, go check out his paintings, sculptures and drawings here: Jason Andersen Artwork.

October 19, 2011

Okay, it’s Tuesday night, the night I go to a bar and see if we can score a swizzle stick. I thought that tonight we’d go back to the source for this Tuesday night swizzle stick hunt, Sardi’s. I first started thinking about swizzle sticks due to a post at Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York, where he wrote about Swizzles and Sardi’s. Sardi’s was bar number 252 on my 365 Bar Crawl last year, let’s go back and say hi and get a swizzle, a drink and perhaps a snack or two.

It's a nice night out, so we'll just walk, it's about 16 blocks away. I'm enjoying this fall weather while it lasts, in about a month it's going to be freezing out and I'm dreading that.

Holy 1967, Batman! This shirt and tie combination is giving me an acid flashback. Groovy!

And here we are, Sardi's.

Holy moley, it looks like we've got the bar all to ourselves. Hey, wait a minute, what does that sign say...

Son of a bitch, the little bar is closed. Oh well, when in Rome...

Start roamin'. Up we go to the upstairs bar.

There's plenty of seats up here, let's go snag one.

Bartender Joseph serves up the double gin and tonic and it looks like we've scored a swizzle stick!

A basic black swizzle stick, perfect!

A long shot of the bar and...

Cheese and Ritz crackers! Sardi's has the best bar snacks in the city!

That guy in the cowboy hat looks familiar, so I went over and said hi.

It's Randy Jones, the cowboy from the Village People! I told him that I watched them on the old Merv Griffin show when I lived in Peoria and he told me that was perfect. A nice guy, check out his website: Randy Jones World.

Sardi's is known for the caricatures on the walls, let's look at a few.

Here's Paul Winchell and Jerry Mahoney, I don't know about you, but ventriloquists creep me out.

The Lord of the Thighs, Suzanne Somers.

Steve Guttenberg. Who knew he had such a giraffe neck?

Lady Gaga? Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Swizzle Stick Donation!
Kate from One More Folded Sunset donated a half a dozen cool swizzle sticks she collected in her travels! Thanks, Kate, see you this Sunday!

The Whole Stinking Collection So Far!
Thanks to all who have donated, it’s turned into a cool collection!
Sardi’s
234 W. 44th St. (Near Broadway)
212-221-8440

Further reading: Wikipedia, trip advisor and nyc.com.

I walk on concrete,
I walk on sand.
But I can't find,
A safe place to stand.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

October 4, 2011

Last Friday I was going to go to Occupy Wall Street, but it was raining so hard, I postponed it and took photos on my way home and then instead of captions, I put up song lyrics and a link to a video of the song. I really liked the results of what happened in that post. I’ve kind of run out of ideas for “Sixpack Monday,” where I take six pictures of specific things, so I’ve decided to marry the two ideas and every Monday I’ll take six pictures in a part of New York and then add song lyrics for the caption that I think fits the mood of the picture.

Tonight I thought we’d do it in Times Square. I know I rag on about how Times Square is ruined and a squeaky clean tourist trap, but it’s still good for people watching and photo taking. So let’s go and get a sixpack of photos.

Don't sleep in the subway, darlin', don't stand in the pouring rain. Don't sleep in the subway, darlin', The night is long, forget your foolish pride, nothing's wrong, now you're beside me again.

I stepped up on the platform. The man gave me the news. He said, "You must be joking son, where did you get those shoes?"

Bakin' potatoes, bakin' in the sun. Put on your noseguard, put on the Lifeguard. Pass the tanning butter.

I'm taking it to my room. I'm taking it to my lonely place. I'm tempted to hide away. I'm tempted to hide in a tourist town.

Me and my Arrow. Straighter than narrow. Wherever we go, everyone knows, it's me and my Arrow.

We've done very well, but we've been to hell and heaven as well. We're having a lovely time, wish you were here.

Further reading: Andrew Prokos Photography, Laughing Squid and Times Square Alliance.

Picture this —a sky full of thunder,
Picture this—my telephone number,
One and one is what I'm telling you.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

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Candleight Vigil For Bob Arihood Tonight

There's a candlelight vigil for Bob Arihood, who died last week. Shawn and Lindsay organized this and it takes place in front of Ray's tonight at 8:00 PM. I've heard it will continue at Lucy's later, where I'll probably join up due to the fact that I have to work. Here's the information from Shawn and Lindsay via EV Grieve:

We wanted to put together a candlelight vigil for Bob in front of Ray's at 8 pm.

Please tell people to bring a candle and or flowers, photos of Bob or photos Bob took. We all think instead Bob would want people to just buy something from Ray's in his memory!

We are presenting Ray with a framed portrait of Bob to hang up so he's always watching over Ray.

UPDATE:

Bob's friend Jefferson Siegel just sent me this email:

There will be a gathering of Bob's friends tonight at 7 p.m. at Lucy's at 135 Ave. A near 9th St. Please spread the word. A memorial is being planned, possibly for this weekend. Also, there was an obit on page 32 of today's Daily News. It's not online, but an image of it is attached:

July 13, 2011

Okay, my parents flew back and I”m back to work, which means I’m back to my normal schedule. And that also means that since it’s Tuesday, it’s Swizzle Stick Night, where I go out in search of the elusive swizzle stick. Originally I was searching for a glass one, but I’ve come to realize those my be extinct, so I’m happy with a plastic one as well. Last week the bartender didn’t even know what a swizzle stick is!

Tonight I’m going to a bar that was one of the last great taverns in Times Square and one of the highlights of the bar crawl last year—Rum House. The original owner’s lease ran out last year and the owners of the Hotel Edison wouldn’t renew it. Instead, they leased it out to a group of people whom everyone thought was going to turn it into some shiny, bright sickening place to match the rest of Times Square. Well, supposedly they did clean it up a bit, but I’ve heard it’s still dark and they’ve maintained the personality of the original pretty well. I kind of doubt it’s true, but let’s go see if that’s true and if there’s a swizzle stick in our future.

And we're off, out into the hot, sticky July night in New York City.

I really hate this part of Times Square that's so light it looks like daytime here. I took this shot without a flash!

And of course you've got your large groups of assholes just standing and chatting and blocking the entire sidewalk. Aaaahhh!

And here's the dreaded T.G.I. Fridays where they claim, "IN HERE IT'S ALWAYS FRIDAY." You know what? As much as I hate to walk in there, let's step inside and see if we're magically transferred to Friday.

Nope, it's still Tuesday and this place sucks monkey lungs on toast. Let's get out of here, I need a drink!

And here we are at Rum House. Wow, they took down the big brown Rum House sign and replaced it with this generic thing. Not a good sign, pun somewhat intended.

And here's the bar, the crowd is a little more Yuppified than before.

There's a table up front, filled with this group of loud tourists.

I ordered my double gin and tonic and it didn't come with a swizzle stick, just a black straw. He then proceeded to tell me that the Edison Hotel didn't renew the lease for the previous owners because it was dirty and they didn't like the clientele they attracted. Well since I was one of the clientele it attracted...

I got one more for the road and then got the fuck out of this place.

Goodbye Rum House, I hope Karma bites your face off.

Rum House
There’s been a lot of reviews about how the new owners of the Rum House have kept the old school vibe alive in there. But I was there at the end when people who had worked there for years told me first-hand that they were yanked out of a job because the Hotel Edison wanted a different crowd in there. Last year when these greedy scumbag money-lickers refused to let the original owner renew his lease and then let some people who owned some fancy shmancy bar somewhere in the financial district reopen it, with pretty much the same look, some people celebrated it. But the drink prices rose and although I hadn’t been there, I assumed that the clientele and atmosphere would be somewhat different. I kind of dreaded walking back in there, but like Neil Young once sang, “Tonight’s the Nitght.”

So I went there and while it looked somewhat the same, it was a little brighter and a little more well polished. And all of the old staff was gone. The new ones were friendly though, and I played dumb and put on my Peter Tork face and asked one of the bartenders if they had changed management.

He told me that indeed they had and that the previous owners didn’t get their lease renewed because the Hotel Edison thought they kept the bar dirty and they didn’t like the customers they attracted. When I went there last year under previous management I was served up drinks by Fransisco, a true old school New York bartender and there were pretzels on the bar in blue plastic bowls. I didn’t see any any dirt. The clientele was a mix of working class people from around the block and no-nonsenense tourists, all people who knew how to throw back a drink or four and not get stupid. Tonight there was yuppie couples and loud tourists. And while the bar was dark, it was a shade lighter and a little brighter and sparklier than before. And people were texting and talking way too loud in the joint for my taste.

I miss the old staff and I’m not going back and I’m pissed they threw the original crew out of the joint. Oh, and fuck you Hotel Edison, you, slimy cold-ass bastardsl. Eat shit with your fourteen dollar drinks. You don’t even have swizzle sticks and you put good people out of work. And I miss the old blue plastic bowls with pretzels in them.

Further reading: New York Magazine, Grub Street, Eater NY and Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York.

You also might like: Alley Cats, Ali McGraw and Alley Oop.

Five Other Houses
House of the Rising Sun
The House of Yes
The Waffles House
Son House
Crowded House

I met my love by the gas works wall
Dreamed a dream by the old canal
I kissed my girl by the factory wall
Dirty old town

ARCHIVES

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June 17, 2011

A couple nights ago, lzzrdgrrl, left a comment saying that I should start taking photos of pay phones, as they soon will be extinct. I thought that was a good idea. And sometime in the last week, Goggla mentioned stopping at the Port Authority, which I also thought was a great idea for a post. So tonight I’m combining the two and I’m going to take photos of pay phones on the way to Port Authority bus station.

It's really a nice night out, perfect summer night in New York City.

And here we have the standard two pay phone set up in a shiny booth. Old time phone booths are long gone in Manhattan and I wonder how long pay phones will be around? I never see any one using them.

Sign that sounds like a porno movie alert!

Memories...

There's no times at all, just the New York Times.

Shit, the whole front section is roped off, they must be working on it. I wanted to get a photo of the Ralph Kramden statue in front of the Port Authority.

I explained my situation to this nice fellow...

And he let me in for the Ralph Kramden shot. Pow! To the moon, Alice!

Here's the side doors which are the entrance tonight since the front is roped off.

I decided to check out the bar in the bowling alley here. But I wasn't sure where it was so I asked the lady at the Information booth. She told me to go down the hall and up to an escalator. I asked her if it was still open and she said she didn't know. Little Miss Information, indeed!

My three pay phones at the Port Authority.

Here's the escalator...

And here's Frames bar. I went here for the bar crawl last year when it was called, Leisure Time Bowl and it was a little too shiny for me in here. I gave it an okay review because the bartender was nice to me, but it's not a place I'd normally hang out at.

And not much has changed in here. I'd rather be lit at the bar than vice-versa, the bowling alley's right beyond this, let's check that bar out.

Here's the bowling lanes. They too are lit up and there's video screens overhead, which I would find distracting while bowling. I don't think Ralph Kramden would bowl here.

And here's the bar, it looks like something out of a low rent Miami Vice episode.

The bartender was a real low-talker and I could barely understand him as he told me the bottled beer selection. The only thing I heard was, "Corona" so I ordered one of those, here he is ringing it up.

It's brighter than fuck in here, it's the anti-Al bar!

Some of the draft beers available at this bright and shiny bar.

These beer bongs remind me of the time I drank bongwater to see if it would get me high. To any youngsters reading this, take note: It doesn't, you just throw up immediately.

Here's a bunch of assholes people having what appears to be an after-work bowling party.

I'm really glad I can walk away from this.

Meanwhile, back at the bar, it's still kind of sickening. I chugged my beer and got out of there.

Here's two pay phones on my way out of the Port Authority. I've decided the real challenge is to find someone actually using a pay phone, so that's my challenge for the future. Okay, goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow, after dark.

Further reading: Port Authority, ny.com, payphone.com and Smoking Hot Waitress.

You also might like: Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Five Famous Bus Drivers
Ralph Kramden
Neal Cassady
Busdriver
James F. Blake
Professor Dungpie,Fountainhead of Enlightenment!

Every day you'll see the dust (Too much, the Magic Bus),
As I drive my baby in my Magic Bus (Too much, the Magic Bus).

ARCHIVES

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June 7, 2011

Okay, work wasn’t too bad tonight, but I’m still tired because I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. This led to a new idea to do here on MAD when I’m a little sluggish and don’t feel like talking to people. I’m just going to go to certain parts of New York and take photos. I’m going to call these nights “Picture This.” I thought I’d start this new series in Times Square, I know I rag on about how Times Square has been ruined by commercialization, but it’s colorful and always loaded with people. So tonight, it’s Times Square, can you picture this? I know I can! Bring on the schlock!

It's a nice night out, so we'll just walk, it's only 12 blocks away from where I work.

Enter here?

Those arrows are pointing right at the sidewalk, so unless you've got a jackhammer, I guess you're not going to Modell's.

We're almost there, I can see the JumboTron from here.

And here we are in the heart of Times Square.

There's bleachers in front of the JumboTron and people come here and sit as if there's a concert or something going to happen. Nothing's going to happen people! Leave midtown and enjoy New York while you can! This has been a public service announcement.

I call this shot, "Cheese Squared," the announcement for the new Kardashian show on the Ecchh! Network sits above the world's largest Red Lobster.

Hoodies in the hood.

Grumbler alert!

Picture this!

Ads for Broadway shows, this reminds that I really do want to see The Addams Family before it closes.

Regulatory Delay Stoke...what does that even mean?

It's McPacked at McDonald's, because the Big Mac tastes so different in Times Square.

And just in case you've forgotten about the Kardashian show, a subtle little reminder.

A cop writes a ticket for this unlucky taxi driver.

Goddamn, this kid gives me the creeps!

Times Square window shopping.

There's no escape!

And some footage of Times Square way back when. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further reading: Times Square Website, Wikipedia, Virtual Tourist and Times Square Cam.

You Might Also Like: Lucille and Ball.

Five Songs About Photos
Kodachrome—Paul Simon
Pictures of You—The Cure
Photograph—Ringo Starr
Pictures of Lily—The Who
Picture Book—The Kinks

New things and old both disappear.
If life is a photograph,
Fading in the mirror...

ARCHIVES

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

May 5, 2011

Last week while walking home from my parents hotel I was walking through Times Square and saw an abomination a store that I had no idea existed. It’s a store called M&M’s World and it’s a store that is three floors high and sells nothing but M&M candy and accessories. Yes, Virginia, M&M’s now come with accessories...at least at this store. I thought this would be a perfect Times Square place to play...Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out.

And we're off. Goddamn, it's cold out for May.

Deedle dee dee...fresh air...deedle dee dee...Times Square!

Fuck, it's after 11:00 o'clock at night and it's as bright as daytime here with all the lights. I hate it here!

Did I mention I hate it here? Oh, good.

And here we are, the M&M...and M&M and M store. Mmmmm.

Three floors of shopping!

They've got t-shirts on the first floor.

And on the second floor they've got...t-shirts.

And on the third floor...more t-shirts! Where the fuck is the candy in this place?

This guy has a vested interest in the t-shirts! I'm cracking myself up over here!

M&M coke spoons! Great...but I want candy!

Ask and ye shall receive. Vats of the elusive M&M candies.

Another satisfied customer.

She stocked up. If she only knew she could get the same product at the Duane Reade a block away at half the price.

Photo Booth!

Goodnight everybody, see you tomorrow after dark.

The Verdict!

Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out?

Souvenir

Shit I forgot to get a souvenir...wait, I know...

I'd rather buy my M&M's from this guy, anyway.

M&M's World
1600 Broadway (Between 48th & 49th St)
212-295-3850

Further reading and watching: New York Magazine, ToDoCandy, INCYDK and TCPBG.

You might also like: Van Halen, Van Johnson and A Van...Down By The River!

Six Other M&M’s
M&M Donuts
M&M Meat Shops
MM!
Wikipedia
M&M
Eminem

Have you seen Junior’s grades?
Ooh.

ARCHIVES

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Facebook Update Found By "Boris!"

"Boris" found this timely update on facebook the other day. It kind of tells it's own story, thanks Daddio!

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Bonus Jaws Art

Jaws combined the worlds of Wall Drug and the M&M World below. Thanks, Jaws!

May 1, 2011

Okay, today is just going to be more random photos. Sorry I haven’t done a full-fledged MAD post in the last couple of days, but I’ve been busy with my folks in town. Tonight we’re meeting my nieces (my brother Tom's daughters) who came in from Brooklyn, Queens and New Jersey to meet us for dinner. Here’s tonight’s photos.

I saw this head being sold on the way to my parents hotel. Yikes, creepy, huh?

Most hotels don't have a 13th floor, but this one does. It made me think of this band.

And here we are! From left: Cara, Dad, Caylin, Casie, her fiancée Anthony, me passed out on the table and my Mom. My Mom yelled at me for ruining yet another family photo. This has been going on for years! It was great to see my nieces and I thank them for making the trip into the city to hang out with us. And nice to meet future family member, Anthony! It was a fun meal and a great time.

Okay, the dinner is over and I thought I'd wander over to Times Square and snap some photos.

There's lots of "I <3 NY" souvenirs for sale in this area.

The crowds here are kind of unbearable. Everyone moves as quickly as a snail trooping through drying cement. Pure torture!

Hey, look at this, Playland Gifts, the place that has the hidden porno theater in the basement. Check out the post at Jeremiah's Vanishing New York, where I went down and got a couple of photos, just click on this link: Jeremiah's Vanishing New York.

It's really crowded in here, maybe I can pull off another shot of the theater!

I made it to the basement again, but there was a guy down there folding shirts and he went berserk on me for being down there and threw me out of the store. It was pretty exciting! I took this shot from the sidewalk about ten minutes later. If only people knew where they store these t-shirts! I have to try this again, it's a lot of fun!

Back into the crowd.

Sorry Tad's, I've eaten already, so I don't have room for one of your delicious steak dinners.

Everybody's taking pictures everywhere.

See? I gotta get out of here!

Okay, as I approach this cart, the crowds are thinning out and I'm getting closer to my home. I think I'll go home and check out some blogs, I've been offline for hours!

Okay, home sweet home. The computer's fired up, let's see what's happening over at EV Grieve.

AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Further reading: Gumby Vs. Cardboard Box Man, Random Photos, Times Square and Family Dinner.

You might also like: Yellow Submarines, Yellow Pages and Donovan.

Four Random Things Found on the Internet
Random.Org
Wikipedia
Urban Dictionary
Random House

And now that Superman’s made a movie,
No one reads his magazines.

ARCHIVES