December 21, 2011

Okay, it’s Tuesday night, the night I go out in hot pursuit of a swizzle stick. I haven’t had much luck lately, but I thought of a place that just might have swizzles, The Hard Rock Café in Times Square. It would be a decent little souvenir for a tourist and I’m sure the drinks are overpriced there, so they certainly can afford it. Plus, I don’t think I’ve been in a Hard Rock Café in over a decade, it might be interesting to go and check it out.

Kind of a drizzly, lonely night out here.

Well, things are brighter here in Times Square, let's go check it out.

Welcome to the Hard Rock Cafe.

They have TV sets up here, showing live feeds from other Hard Rock Cafes around the world. What's funny is that there's not much difference in any of the feeds, they all look the same.

Okay, let's go check out the bar.

Wow, it's really noisy in here and it's packed.

No seats here just people yakking on cell phones and staring aimlessly at a big tourist trap.

Goddamn, this part is all filled up too. And there's a bad Genesis song booming over the speakers. I'm beginning to think this was a bit of a mistake.

I finally found an empty seat at the end of the bar.

The bartenders were busy and it wasn't easy to get a drink, but when I did...

No swizzle stick, just a giant black straw. This night isn't going too well.

There's tons of multi-colored lights hanging over the bar and it's kind of giving me a headache.

Alanis Morissette is now blaring over the speakers and on the video screens over the bar. This is really a horrible place.

Save the planet and stop making Hard Rock Cafes.

And suddenly...Bill Wyman's jacket. Well, that certainly makes the trip worthwhile! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Hard Rock Café
1501 Broadway (Near 43rd St.)
212-489-6565

Further Reading: New York Magazine, NY Times (check out the snide Peoria reference!) and 360.

As I walk through,
This wicked world,
Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Linkage From Jason Andersen!
MAD reader and commenter Jason Andersen is an artist who just put up a new website. Jason does amazing artwork, go check out his paintings, sculptures and drawings here: Jason Andersen Artwork.