Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Walking Home/Michael and Me @11:27 pm
Chelsea
I really enjoyed writing that story about Mr. Bard last week. Last year I didn’t write at all, because between 365 Bars and work, there was not enough time in the day. With MAD, I can do whatever I want, so I’ve decided every Tuesday will be Short Story Night. I’ll snap a few photos on the way home and then write a story when I get there. And that’s exactly what’s going to happen right now.
And we're off.
I've walked by this sign thousands of times by now and the hair part always freaks me out. Someday I'm afraid it's going to say, "Wigs & Hair & Thumbs."
The mannequins in the window always scare me as well, but I can't resist looking at them. It's like when a car crash happens.
Why hello, Justin Bieber. Or are you a lesbian who looks like Justin Bieber? I'll never know as I have to move on.
Where there's smoke, there's fire!
Okay, almost home.
Okay, time to crank this story out.
Michael and Me
When it comes to filmmaker Michael Moore, people usually either love him or hate him. I happen to be a fan of his films and like the guy and not just because I think he’s a fantastic documentarian, but because of something he did for me once. Whenever someone is railing about how they hate Michael Moore, I tell them this story. Not that it would change someone's mind who hate’s Michael Moore’s guts, but just because I’m a motormouth and I like to tell stories. So, there! Here it is.
I think the year would’ve been about 1997 when I was still living on the Upper West Side. I had been publishing my magazine fishwrap for about three and a half years. I was proud of the work I had done with it and the magazine had gotten a decent amount of press through the years. Both the NY Post and the Daily News had written favorably about it, but it also got coverage in the Chicago Tribune, Folio magazine, the NY Press and my favorite piece of press was being the “zine of the month” in Sassy magazine. And I’m not kidding about that either, I made fun of Sassy within fishwrap and I thought it was cool that they got the joke.
The magazine had grown from a 12 page, black and white fanzine, to a 48 page glossy magazine with a four color cover. I got a distribution deal with Big Top publishing and while the print run was small at 5,000 copies, it was still being sold all over the country. And every time I put out an issue I’d lose about a thousand bucks.
I could never sell advertising for the magazine, even though it had gained a cult following. You need big numbers to sell ads and mine were small because I could only afford to pay for the printing of 5,000 magazines. Here’s the way the magazine business works: You print an issue and send them to your distribution company. Then you get your printing bill which usually would have to be paid within 30 to 45 days. The magazine retailed for $4.95, but you don’t get that, the newsstands and book stores get 50 percent of the newsstand sales. And there was nothing you can do about that, without them, no one but your friends would see the magazine. The magazine stays on the stands till the next one goes out. Fishwrap only came out about three times a year because pretty much it was just two of us putting the whole thing together and it’s a lot of work to put together a 48 page magazine with no staff.
I wrote 95 percent of it and my friend Clare was the art director and designed the logo, the covers and laid out most of the pages. When the deadline came close, I’d layout the rest. Then I’d ship the film (yes, this was back in the days when you still used film to print from) to the printer, the printer would send the issues to the distribution company who would ship them to the newsstands and then the newsstands would send back the returns and finally I could get paid for the issues that had been sold. But newsstands take their time to pay, for the same reason Oprah takes a shit on a solid gold, 24-karat toilet. Because they can. So usually it would take you at least a half a year to get your money, and then that didn’t even cover the printing bill.
I had tried to get backing for the magazine and had a business plan, but fishwrap never would’ve been more than a decent little niche magazine and people who back things aren’t usually interested in niche items these days or those days. That’s why slowly but surely everything is starting to suck and look the same, but that’s a whole different story and one I briefly touched on yesterday.
You can’t count on making money off subscriptions and newsstand sales, you have to make it by selling ads. In the seven year run of the magazine I had only been able to sell one successful ad. That was a back cover for Matador records. And they never paid their bill. Why they didn’t pay it is a long story, maybe one I’ll write up next week.
I tried selling ads but was hopeless at it and I barely had time to produce and write the magazine in addition to working my full time job. A rep from Absolut Vodka called me once when USA Today wrote about fishwrap within an article they published about the zine revolution at the time, but when I told him the print run was just 5,000 he told me to call him when it was up to 30,000 and they’d definitely be interested. But I couldn’t print that many without ads. I was stuck in a real catch 22. So I just plundered on and hoped for a miracle.
And that’s when Michael Moore enters the picture.
As I said, the year was 1997 and I was living on the Upper West Side. I was working nights at a pre-press place in midtown and took the subway there every evening. My shift started at 7 pm, so most nights I would head out around 6:15 pm.
I think this was in September of that year and I had an issue of fishwrap in the can. And it was a doozy. I had a cover story with the publisher and editor of High Times and had a great photo of the staff of High Times smoking a joint up on the roof of the building. I decided to make it a drug-themed issue and it was titled the “Just Say Dope” issue. We had some other dope-related stuff in the contents and since High Times had a marijuana foldout every month with the title of “Bud of the Month,” we had our own “Bud of the Month.” Ours was a photo highlighting Bud from “Father Knows Best.” I also had done an oral history of the making of “Please Kill Me” by interviewing the authors, Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain. Legs was one of the first people I had met when I moved here and I loved that book. I thought I had done a good job on the oral history and couldn’t wait to get the issue out. The only problem was money. I didn’t have enough to cover the printing and was saving up so I could get the thing out. It was really frustrating waiting and praying for overtime at work so I could get this issue out.
Anyway, I was heading towards the subway station at 72nd and Amsterdam and I was almost there and looked across the street and there on the corner was Michael Moore talking to some guy. Moore lived on the Upper West Side at the time. I had a bag with some copies of fishwrap in it and really wanted to give him a couple. But I didn’t want to butt in when he was talking to someone. Plus I was running late for work.
“Aw fuck it,” I said under my breath and I walked into the subway. I had my token out (yes, this is back in the days when you still had subway tokens), I looked at it and then said, “Aw fuck it,” again, put the token back in my pocket and walked back out to the street.
Michael Moore was still there, but he was still talking to the guy. I figured I’d give it five minutes and if they were still talking, I’d give it up and go to work. Luckily about three minutes in they shook hands and started walking in opposite directions.
I ran after Michael Moore and when I got about a foot behind him I walked about a block and caught my breath and gained whatever composure I usually have.
I walked beside him and acted surprised when I looked in his direction and said, “Hey, Michael Moore! I’m a big fan!” Little did he know I had been stalking him for the last fifteen minutes.
He smiled and said, “Hey, thanks! I appreciate that.”
“Can I ask you something,” I asked him as we walked down the street. By now I had forgotten all about my job.
He stopped walking and said, “Sure, what’s up?”
“Whatever happened to Ben Hamper?” I questioned. Moore’s face lit up when I asked that. Ben Hamper is shown in the beginning of the movie, “Roger and Me.” He’s a friend of Moore’s and he wrote a great book called “Rivethead,” which was the tale of how he had had a nervous breakdown while working on the line at the GM plant in Flint, before they shut it down.
“You read his book?” Moore asked, squinting his eyes.
“Yeah, I loved it,” I told him, “I can really identify with that guy.”
Now Moore looked a little nervous. “Why, have you had a nervous breakdown?”
I laughed and told him no, but I could identify with him, because I was a writer who worked nights to get by. He asked who I wrote for and I told him I had done freelance writing in the past, but these days I was publishing my own magazine. I told him I knew he started out in print and I really wanted him to have a couple copies. He looked through them and was reading stuff here and there and it was nerve-wracking to have Michael Moore reading my writing. I felt great when a couple times he laughed out loud.
“This is great,” he said smiling while perusing an issue. “So, how’s it going for you?” he asked.
That question unleashed an avalanche of whine. I told him it was horrible. I explained I had gotten a lot of press and had a real loyal cult following, but I lost about a thousand bucks everytime I put one out, how I was working a full time night job, I couldn’t find backing and how I had an issue in the can, but couldn’t afford to have it printed.
When I finished my whine-fest he asked me the following question: “Would three thousand dollars help you get it out?”
I’m not sure, but I bet my mouth went into fly catcher mode as I said, “Well, yeah, that would just about pay for it, why?”
With this he took out a scrap of paper, and wrote a phone number on it and said, “I have a foundation where I give out three thousand dollar grants to filmmakers. You’re not a filmmaker, but I like what you’re doing and want to help you out. Call this number tomorrow and a woman named Melissa will answer. I’ll tell her about you and she’ll take your information. I hope you don’t take this wrong, but I don’t know you and can’t cut you a personal check for three grand. What I’ll do is send it to your printer, if you can give Melissa the information.”
I was stunned. It’s one of the few times in my big mouth life where I was truly speechless.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said taking the piece of paper with the phone number and his email on it. Below that it simply said, “$3,000.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said smiling and smacking me on the shoulder. “Just keep doing the good work!”
“I will,” I promised. “Thank you so much,” I said sticking out my hand.
We shook hands and he took off.
I went in to work and told the story to anyone who would listen and even those that wouldn’t.
That issue came out and since I didn’t have to pay for the printing, I was able to save up some dough to keep the momentum going till 2000 when I pulled the plug on fishwrap when the magazine had run its course.
Michael Moore is still making films and I’m still writing. After all, a promise is a promise.
Further reading: City Paper, Wikipedia, The Gazette.
30 Comments
Reader Comments (30)
Great story! Michael Moore has always fought the good fight for the workingman as proven in Roger and Me and from this story. Loved the fishwrap photos too!
I'm torn now. I'm one of those people who can't stand Michael Moore ... can't stand looking at him either ... but he did do one good thing with the $3,000 .......
@Barfly: Thanks! That was one of my favorite fishwraps.
@GENE: Everybody's entitled to their opinion. You are and so is Michael Moore. I appreciate the $3,000 comment and encourage you to watch Roger & Me where he stands up for his hometown and thousands of workers who lost their jobs when Roger Smith shut down the GM plant in Flint, Michigan that was making a profit. But again, I understand your feelings, Michael Moore is one of those guys who people seem to love or hate and I do try to look at both sides of the story.
Oh man what a great story here. At first I was looking at the number and "mmflint@ ? then the 3 grand and wondered what the hell are you up to now. But as I read on, this guy, Michael Moore is a very honest person, I think because he brings out a lot of dirty laundry and puts it out there for all of us to see. Hey, its a dirty job but someone has to do it, and Moore does. The details about writing and publishing and getting the money for it with advertising is something, I think, we all did not understand, thanks for bringing me into this world. Love this story and the rather nervous feeling you had as you approached Mr. Moore. I kind of felt it in your words. The ending here with the Beatles was so appropriate as Fish Wrap ran its course, as did the fab four. Super story.
I'm sure Roger & Me was good ... I like the story line ............. but this Mr. Moore guy has been Charlie Sheen crazy in the 14 years since you met him. To each his own.
Should a 400 lb man advise us on the evils of over-consumption?
Should the resident of a million-dollar apartment claim to be a poster boy of the working class?
Should a person who thought that Enron was a great investment, that Ralph Nader, Wesley Clark and John Kerry would win, and that North Korea's Kim Jong was changing for the better, advise us on ANYTHING?
@Al: Glad you enjoyed the story, and yeah, publishing is a tough world. As a writer from Sports Illustrated once told me, "If you want to publish a magazine, you might as well dig a hole in the ground and throw your money into it."
@GENE: Like I said, everyone's entitled to their opinion and I don't want this to turn into a political debate. It's story of someone who's well known and did a nice thing for me. I will have to say that while he's made millions because his documentaries have been very successful and people pay money to see them (he also streams them for free on his website for those that can't afford to go to them), he grew up in a working class family in Flint, Michigan and his family worked for GM. And I applaud anyone who's willing to stand up for the working class. Okay, let's play nice now!
Should you really say you're going to rub a falafel against Andrea Mackris' lady parts in the shower and then use that mouth to advise the nation on political issues? Probably not (although, if you have a garbage disposal in the shower, I could possibly change my opinion on this). In any event, I think it's great that Michael Moore puts his money where his extraordinarily large mouth is and supports independent thinkers and workers and artists. Great story, Marty! Glad you're still doing the good work.
what a wonderful story! i don't always agree with michael moore, but i don't always disagree with him either. i think his movies are interesting and you don't have to watch them if you don't want to. the same way you can turn off fox news or msnbc if you choose to. i look forward to more of these stories! and biiff...lol!
p.s. the justin bieber thing cracked me up! lol! and that blog is hilarious, thanks for the link!
I remember the first time you told me that story and it's a great one.
I've always enjoyed MM's work (controversial or otherwise)
and always enjoyed this glimpse of him you provided.
Thanks for sharing it again.
I'll be nice !
Here's a happy thought:
http://www.aguywalksinto365bars.com/a-virtual-bar-crawl/2010/8/19/thursday-august-19th-2010bar-221.html
@Biff: Ha ha ha! you still gots it Bifferoonie! Glad you enjoyed the story.
@rita r: I'm happy you enjoyed the story and I'm going to try and write one every Tuesday.
@"Boris:" Thanks Daddio, glad you enjoyed re-reading the tale!
@GENE: I'll drink to that thought, my friend!
@Marty: You must have drank a few gallons of beer that day ..... I can't believe I didn't make it there yet .... a definite must for my next trip .... :)
@GENE: Most nights I didn't get too out of hand, but I have to admit I got pretty schlocked that night!
Man, I need a wig, but I also need hair, but I'm so busy. If only there was a store that had both wigs AND hair.
I could also use $3k (For Wigs & Hair). Plz post MM phone#.
@cp: If you want three grand from MM, you'll have to get it the way I did: Whine like a little bitch until he can't take it and gives you the dough so he can get away.
Holy shit! And shut the fuck up! I LOVE this story. I was psyched when you met Michael Moore, but I totally flipped when he offered 3,000 to you! That's wicked cool.
I love this new website Marty. Your writing is great. When are you coming out to Queens to hit some bars again? Mike and I went to see Motorhead the other nite and hung at Smith's Bar b4. Boy that place chaged! it's hardly a dive anymore and too many big screen TV's!
There is no such thing as too many big screen TV's ! The more, the merrier !
@Meleah: It was a great moment and it was fun to write it up. I forgot how much I enjoyed writing short stories!
@smeems: Let's try and get together in April for sure! I'm going to bars on Sunday nights for this, email me or I'll email you and we'll work it out. Glad you're liking the new blog! I hear you about Smith's, not what it used to be at all.
@GENE: Ha ha ha! You and your TV's!
The Knuckles Tiki Bar would have taken out an 4/c spread ad in Fishwrap for every issue.
{great name by the way & great story}
Keep them coming Marty After Dark
Your Friend.
John
@Knuckles Tiki Bar: Thanks, John! I'm looking forward to bring MAD out to the Tiki Bar this summer!
What a great story Marty! I have no problem with Mr. Moore! I don't even care that he's fat! Any guy that pisses off rich CEO's, George W Bush and all the other conservative dipshits in this greedy ass country is ok with me!
Dogs & TV's are man's best friends !!!
Are you allowed to keep post office crates under your desk? Don't they belong to the post office? I love Roger and Me, one of the few movies I own. And I happen to love Michael Moore. What a great story, it does make me like him even more! Even if I got into a horrible, horrible fight with my brother-in-law after watching Bowling for Columbine.
@Professor Dungpie: Glad you liked the story! I've always wanted to write that one up and now I have.
@GENE: Don't forget birds, they can be man's best friend too. Let's not forget Mr. Bard!
@kari: That crate is just...uhh...on loan...yeah, that's the ticket! "Roger and Me" is my favorite Michael Moore movie.
Readily accessible,
thumb's up
@cp: Yikes! I think Siskel and Ebert are stockholders.
Nice story. Now I can't stand Michael Moore a little less than I couldn't stand him yesterday. Cheers
@Fat Al: Thanks and cheers back atcha.