Marty After Dark - Almost Live...From New York

Entries in Dollar Burger (1)

Sunday

Apr102011

April 10, 2011

Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night Cheeseburger! Tonight’s host is The Dollar Burger in in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen and featuring the Ready For Prime Beef Player, Marty Wombacher. And now, please welcome the The Dollar Burger!

(My original destination was the Shake Shack on 44th and 8th, so that's how the narrative in the captions will read. Bear with me, it's been a long weekend.) Okay The Shake Shack is at 44th and 8th, so it's a 28 block walk, straight up 8th. I have to say I was a little ambivalent in choosing the Shake Shack. In case you haven't heard of it, The Shake Shack first opened up in the Madison Park as a food stand that specialized in cheeseburgers and custard. The cheeseburgers are supposed to be really good and soon there were lines so long, people were waiting over an hour just to get one. Now there's seven of these scattered around the city. I've always been curious as to whether the burgers are really that good, or whether it's just hype. I decided to pick the one on 44th and 8th, because that would attract mainly tourists, whom I don't think eat that late, even on a Saturday. By the time we get there it'll be close to 10 pm and I'm guessing there shouldn't be a line at that time of night. The only way we'll see is to get there. Onward and upward to 44th Street we go.

Wow, this store window could trigger an acid flashback. All the sudden I'm surrounded by talking hot dogs...help!

I like the ransom note quality of this sign.

Retail masturbation alert!

11 blocks to go, I'm starvin' like Marvin over here!

A moment of silence for a shuttered Papaya King. Sob!

Sheesh! You can't walk five blocks in this city without running into one of these goddamn one dollar pizza joints.

Oh no! Let's hope this idea doesn't start trending!

Okay, here we are, deep in the heart of touristville. We're almost there.

And here we are. Hey Shake Shack, could you make your sign a little brighter? It only burned the retina in my eyeballs half-way.

Jesus fucking Christ! There's a line out the godamned door.

And then once you get inside it looks like a chaotic mess.

The place is packed and there's no open tables. And it's so bright in there. I'm not feeling the love for Shake Shack, no matter how good their burgers are.

Plus these girls are dancing and screaming in front of the place. I know what I have to do.

I have to admit I was kind of intrigued as to what a dollar burger tasted like.

There's no line in here. Holy shitballs, look at how tall that guy is!

"Grilling Fresh While You Watch." There's a catch-phrase that would please both Chance the Gardner and Gidget! And note the unintended obligatory mirror shot at the bottom.

And here they are, hard at work assembling and cooking my dollar burger.

Sadly, they had no mustard. Your choice of toppings are mayonnaise and/or ketchup. In a moment that's sure to please Kari, I chose ketchup. Mayonnaise?

And here it is, in all its glory, the dollar burger!

This burger literally defines the adage: "You get what you pay for."

But at least there wasn't a line. Charlie Sheen on Friday and this on Saturday. Things can only go uphill from here. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

My Meal
Actually it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t that good either. What do you expect for a buck?

MAD Cheeseburger Rating:
One Wimpy.

Dollar Burger
Near the corner of 39th and 8th Avenue
I seriously doubt they have a phone.

Further reading: Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York, Grub Street, Some Foodie Asshole and Midtown Burger.