July 13, 2011
Okay, my parents flew back and I”m back to work, which means I’m back to my normal schedule. And that also means that since it’s Tuesday, it’s Swizzle Stick Night, where I go out in search of the elusive swizzle stick. Originally I was searching for a glass one, but I’ve come to realize those my be extinct, so I’m happy with a plastic one as well. Last week the bartender didn’t even know what a swizzle stick is!
Tonight I’m going to a bar that was one of the last great taverns in Times Square and one of the highlights of the bar crawl last year—Rum House. The original owner’s lease ran out last year and the owners of the Hotel Edison wouldn’t renew it. Instead, they leased it out to a group of people whom everyone thought was going to turn it into some shiny, bright sickening place to match the rest of Times Square. Well, supposedly they did clean it up a bit, but I’ve heard it’s still dark and they’ve maintained the personality of the original pretty well. I kind of doubt it’s true, but let’s go see if that’s true and if there’s a swizzle stick in our future.
And we're off, out into the hot, sticky July night in New York City.
I really hate this part of Times Square that's so light it looks like daytime here. I took this shot without a flash!
And of course you've got your large groups of assholes just standing and chatting and blocking the entire sidewalk. Aaaahhh!
And here's the dreaded T.G.I. Fridays where they claim, "IN HERE IT'S ALWAYS FRIDAY." You know what? As much as I hate to walk in there, let's step inside and see if we're magically transferred to Friday.
Nope, it's still Tuesday and this place sucks monkey lungs on toast. Let's get out of here, I need a drink!
And here we are at Rum House. Wow, they took down the big brown Rum House sign and replaced it with this generic thing. Not a good sign, pun somewhat intended.
And here's the bar, the crowd is a little more Yuppified than before.
There's a table up front, filled with this group of loud tourists.
I ordered my double gin and tonic and it didn't come with a swizzle stick, just a black straw. He then proceeded to tell me that the Edison Hotel didn't renew the lease for the previous owners because it was dirty and they didn't like the clientele they attracted. Well since I was one of the clientele it attracted...
I got one more for the road and then got the fuck out of this place.
Goodbye Rum House, I hope Karma bites your face off.
Rum House
There’s been a lot of reviews about how the new owners of the Rum House have kept the old school vibe alive in there. But I was there at the end when people who had worked there for years told me first-hand that they were yanked out of a job because the Hotel Edison wanted a different crowd in there. Last year when these greedy scumbag money-lickers refused to let the original owner renew his lease and then let some people who owned some fancy shmancy bar somewhere in the financial district reopen it, with pretty much the same look, some people celebrated it. But the drink prices rose and although I hadn’t been there, I assumed that the clientele and atmosphere would be somewhat different. I kind of dreaded walking back in there, but like Neil Young once sang, “Tonight’s the Nitght.”
So I went there and while it looked somewhat the same, it was a little brighter and a little more well polished. And all of the old staff was gone. The new ones were friendly though, and I played dumb and put on my Peter Tork face and asked one of the bartenders if they had changed management.
He told me that indeed they had and that the previous owners didn’t get their lease renewed because the Hotel Edison thought they kept the bar dirty and they didn’t like the customers they attracted. When I went there last year under previous management I was served up drinks by Fransisco, a true old school New York bartender and there were pretzels on the bar in blue plastic bowls. I didn’t see any any dirt. The clientele was a mix of working class people from around the block and no-nonsenense tourists, all people who knew how to throw back a drink or four and not get stupid. Tonight there was yuppie couples and loud tourists. And while the bar was dark, it was a shade lighter and a little brighter and sparklier than before. And people were texting and talking way too loud in the joint for my taste.
I miss the old staff and I’m not going back and I’m pissed they threw the original crew out of the joint. Oh, and fuck you Hotel Edison, you, slimy cold-ass bastardsl. Eat shit with your fourteen dollar drinks. You don’t even have swizzle sticks and you put good people out of work. And I miss the old blue plastic bowls with pretzels in them.
Further reading: New York Magazine, Grub Street, Eater NY and Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York.
You also might like: Alley Cats, Ali McGraw and Alley Oop.
Five Other Houses
House of the Rising Sun
The House of Yes
The Waffles House
Son House
Crowded House
24 Comments
Reader Comments (24)
I hate it when they "bistro-fy" really great old bars. Goddammit, I wanna see scarred wood and just a LITTLE graffiti drawn behind the toilet in Sharpie! Is that so much to ask?!
And I agree about that part of Times Square...WAAAAY too bright with the LCD signs. It's beautiful, for sure, but in kind of a "beginning of 'Bladerunner'" kind of way. And we all know how that turned out. Plus, people don't watch where they're going with so many visual distractions.
And I also agree about the pretzels. Where are they, you cheap bastards??
That's so fucked up that they bad-mouth the old place which set up the template for the bar. I remember your post from 365 bars and it didn't look dirty at all and the staff all looked great, sorry to see them lose their jobs. Fuck this place. On a brighter note: Dirty Old Town is one of my favorite songs.
I understand the letdown, I love to see familiar faces behind the bar. Edison management are the same as most corporations in that they do not understand nostalgia, or loyal regulars, they only look at making more money. They also appear to want new customers because it look's like only the uninformed tourist would walk in now and pay fourteen dollars for a drink. I had high hopes when I saw your review today only to be given a dose of greed from these new owners,,,I'll hang at my dives with the regulars.
Marty, the "new improved" Rum House has gotten you so rattled, you forgot what month it is. The header of your post says: June 13, 2011.
I love your blog. No matter how shitty my life is going I can come here and feel better about myself. Keep up the work!
@Aaron: "Bistro-fy is a great word! And I agree totally with your Times Square thoughts and you would think that charging 14 bucks a drink they could afford pretzels! Sheesh!
@Barfly: I thought it was fucked up too that they had to bad mouth the previous owners. It wasn't dirty in there.
@Al: You are dead on. The prices are higher and the crowd and bartenders are different. Just like Lindsay Buckingham, I'm never going back again!
@Bruce Davis: Thanks for catching that! I just fixed it. And yes, it did rattle me!
@Marty During the Day: Thanks so much for the kind words, glad you enjoy the blog!
From what you say about the New Improved Rum House, it sounds as good a place as any for Cardboard Box Man and his flesh eating minions to start their rampage when they finally land in force....(sigh)
Fuck the Hotel Edison! But I kind of like how that sweaty lady tourist matched her bag-strap to her shirt.
Hey, Rum House Folks! Too cheap to afford a comma on your window? That might set you back the price of a bag of gourmet pretzels.
Another spot-on post. I particularly enjoyed "...this place sucks monkey lungs on toast. Let's get out of here, I need a drink!"
UFB ! ... what a crappy expensive place ---- I'd rather go through the M&M Store in Times Square again !
Jaws: One can only pray that that's Cardboard Box Man's first stop on the total annihilation of the planet!
@Biff: Ha ha ha! I didn't even notice that! You still gots it Bifferoonie!
@Grade "A" Karen: Thanks! What really pissed me off is how they talk about the old Rum House, they should have more respect.
@GENE: Ha ha ha! How true!
The Rum House...at least they have beer...and customers.
Thanks for letting us tag along Marty!
ahhhh i remember joining you on the last night at the Hotel Edison Rum House. what a fun/messy night! i think i still have some incriminating photos somewhere .......
hope all the wombacher klan got home safely...hope that cassie and anthony have a great honeymoon (if they are doing one) and/or future...another "semi-upscale" joint that doesn't dispense swizzle sticks w/ their mixed drinks....damn this quest is becomin' a true one and MAD might have to go on the road rather than down that fuckin' lonely street...sorry 'bout the "new" rum house's attitude....was that $14 for a single or your double?
The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and trial with humility.
~Thomas S. Monson
rr
@Tiki Bar Susie: It's a pleasure to have you along!
@Claire and Mick: Hey, good to hear from you! That was a great boozy night that night! Are you guys ever coming back here? I hope you're doing great!
@rr: Everybody got home safe and sound, talked to my folks today. It's 14 bucks for a single and 18 bucks for a double. So if you do go there, order a double and save some dough-re-mi. NIce quote and oh so true!
What type of fuck knuckle bartender doesn't know what a swizzle stick is!? Holy fuck!
This place sucks, Marty. And TGI Fridays can go suck a big one.
Any chance you can take MAD down to Otto's soon? Last night Shannon reminded me of our encounter with Frank Wood. I'd forgotten about him and his voice that was as smooth as a lawn mower engine. Oh how I laughed.
Loved the reference to Crowded House in the bottom of your post! Great Aussie/Kiwi band.
Clacky - surprised you didn't pick that up - you slack bastard!
Is that a thumbs or thumbs down?
@Clacky: Franks Wood is usually at Otto's on Sunday nights. I've got plans this Sunday, but maybe a week from Sunday I'll try and track him down!
@Brooksy: That's my favorite Crowded House song! And yeah, come on Clacky, get with the fucking program!
@anonymous 271: Definitely a thumbs up. Right up the ass of the owners of the Hotel Edison!
Right about now I feel like I should make a contribution to this stellar blog...however, that place is so way out of my zip code and I can't handle Rum to begin with, so maybe I should just bite my tongue and not irritate people for a day.
Well, my list for what to see/do in NYC was getting so long that it may be good they aren't all gems!
@Uncle Waltie: You don't irritate anyone, my friend! Sip Ahoy! P.S. Can you put or send me your email again? I want to send the pictures but can't remember what post you left it at and I'm too lazy to go back and look.
@Britta: Definitely put this place on your "don't" list!
Boo to change!
@kari: Especially in this place! Boo! Boo hoo!