July 21, 2011
EV Grieve reported yesterday that a new Subway sandwich store was celebrating a “Grand Opening” on Avenue B in the East Village. The Mars Bar gets shut down one day and a fucking Subway opens the next. It pretty much sums up the direction of this city and it gives me the goddamned heebie jeebies. This city is being overrun by chain stores and restaurants and soon it’s going to be one big fucking strip mall.
The thing I don’t get is why people in New York eat in a place like Subway? When I lived in Peoria, I ate at Subways and other chain restaurants because sometimes the closest place to get a fresh sandwich was miles away. I guarantee you there’s a deli within two blocks of this shithole, that serves better sandwiches and they’re locally owned and run. I’ve decided to get the same sandwich at both places then bring them home and do a comparison study.
We're taking a subway to a Subway. Irony at its finest hour.
Okay, through the magic of the internet you're spared a subway ride that included a screaming baby on the car and the mother leaving the kid in the stroller, pretending to be oblivious to the whole thing. People, if you're going to breed, be responsible for your little monsters. I was going to transfer to the L train, but decided just to get off here at Union Square and hoof it over to Avenue B.
And it's off we go. Holy moley, it looks like I'm having an acid flashback here!
As usual there's a line stretching out into the street at Artichoke. The pizza here is supposed to be real good. I'll never know, though. I'm not about to wait in line for fifteen minutes to get a fucking slice of pizza.
And here we are, the grand opening of Subway in the East Village. It doesn't look too grand to me, but let's check it out anyway.
Look at this sign in the front window. It looks like someone vomited between two slices of bread. Barf-O-Matic.
It's tiny inside and looks like every other Subway chain. Cookie cutter restaurants with cookie cutter menus.
For drinks you get your choice of something from the soda fountain...
Or bottled soda or water from this cooler. I decided to get my drink at the next place. I'm guessing there will be beer there. Goodbye Subway, I hardly knew ye, and thank fuck for that.
Okay, I've got my shittly little sandwich from Subway. Now, less than a block away...
Is Brother's Candy & Grocery.
Now these look like my kind of sandwiches!
They have about anything in here you would want...
Including fresh sandwiches from this counter.
The have a whole wall of coolers with drinks. And they've got beer here!
And everyone's friendly in here, this fellow even posed for a photo while holding my purchases. Okay, time to head home and take the comparison test.
Okay, we'll look at the Subway sandwich first, which is packaged in this gaudy clear Subway bag.
And here's the sandwich. You don't see any meat sticking out of it for good reason...
There's just three slices of pre-sliced ham inside this flat-ass sandwich. It's got less meat in it than Karen Carpenter had on her bones two days before she died. And the yellow stuff you see is mainly mustard, I asked for cheddar cheese and they put about a teaspoon of shredded cheese on this sandwich. Time for the taste test.
While I'd like to say it taste's like shit, I really can't. It just tastes like nothing. There's not enough ham to taste and it just tastes like you're eating a bread sandwich. And while the bread is fresh, there's no taste to it. Just white bread. How fitting.
And now on to the Brother's sandwich. It comes packaged in this black bag. Nice, it almost looks like black leather.
Now that's a goddamn sandwich! It's spilling off the plate!
Inside there's slices of fresh cheddar cheese and piles of ham. And lettuce and spicy mustard to boot. Let's take a taste...
Delicious! And a local business a half a block away from the evil and substandard Subway. I think my point is proved. Now it's time for dessert.
I think I mentioned that Brother's sells beer! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.
Brother's Candy & Grocery
542 E. 14Th St. (@ Avenue B)
212-473-8308
Further reading: EV Grieve, Dead Tree Media, Endless Gibberish and The Suck Report.
You Might Also Like: Good Morning America, Good Afternoon Mr. Gibson and Goodnight Irene.
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28 Comments
Reader Comments (28)
Love this write-up Marty! Couldn't agree more! My uncle Tony grew up in the LES, when I was a kid he brought me to his favorite place: La Focacceria (now closed) for vesteddi sandwiches... I remember that childhood memory like it was yesterday and it is something we still talk about to this day. It's sad to think that kids now may not have a special place that they can attach memories to. I don't think my uncle Tony and I would be talking about the Subway sandwiches we shared years ago... hahah!
Brilliant !
This post should be a column in the New York Post ... or at least the Village Voice !
I wish we had local places like that. Sadly, suburbia is littered with chains. And there is that sad lonely Sol beer again.
Deli? "Just Katz it!™" <groan>
@Lindsay: Thanks and you are dead on about attaching memories to special places. Once everything is covered in bland look-alike restaurants and stores, those special memories are gone.
@GENE: Thanks!
@Britta: I'm saving that Sol beer for you!
@csp: Ha ha ha! A blast from the past!
When I was a kid in Peoria, there was a Place my dad would drive to for take out subs for all of us every once in a while. Dad never said the name of the place, but my God Marty, This place made REAL sub sandwiches that I remember and crave to this day. The only other thing that came even close to those subs I enjoyed as a kid was a place that operated out of the Dinky Town area of Minneapolis near the University of Minnesota called Jersey Joes...run by a real life New Jersey transplant who REALLY knew his deli! I'd call for one of his cheese and pepper steak subs (to die for...nothing that good anywhere else on the planet) and savor this incredible treat while watching the original cast of Saturday Night Live on television...I always tipped the delivery guy ten dollars for his long drive and it was always worth it. Jersey Joes went out of buisiness in the early eighties and I almost cried. There will never, never be another Jersey Joes. (Real, honest to god sautee'd and magically seasoned chunks of steak, not toasted skin grafts like you get at the chain stores nowadays. (sigh).
If you're on Ave B, I recommend Sonny's on the NW corner of 6th St. Giant sandwiches for about $7 - guaranteed to be too much food and everything they make tastes great. Plus, you can take your yummy sammy to Tompkins Square, just one block away, or a number of community gardens in the area.
I've done Subway when there was nothing else. The $5 thing was a good deal, but as they're a franchise, each one is different. I wonder if the owner is local?
The deli sammys rock!!
@Jaws: The best sandwich in Peoria I ever had is the gondola at Avanti's. I still always get one when I go home. Jersey Joe's sounds great!
@Goggla: Thanks for the tip, I'll check Sonny's out when I'm in the area. The owner probably is local, but I'd rather see someone with an original restaurant plan open something up rather than a cookie cutter place.
@Melanie: They do indeed, and since there's one right around the corner from Subway, why would anyone buy a shitty Subway sandwich when you can get a real one at Brother's?
Artichoke's is way overrated. Their signature slice of artichokes in a creamy cheesy sauce on a thick crust slice looks damn good, but its always too fucking hot to eat for about an hour and its too thick, so the center can be doughy and uncooked. I had it once and said I wouldn't go back, then I got drunk enough to think, maybe I was wrong the first time, and should try it again, because it does look damn good. Nope, same thing.
Just for proper comparison, what was the price of the Subway vs deli sandwich? I can't stant the smell of Subways, but I did eat there alot when younger.
Marty! Great post! Haha! Reminds me of a scene from the movie "Falling down" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eREiQhBDIk
Btw..You know I am Dutch...what did that shitty barfwich cost? ;)
Agree about Artichoke's - had a vile slice there & will never go back. I'll shout out for my local deli, Catene's, on 9th Street & Fourth Avenue!
@Spike: Nice to know about Artichoke, I can never believe the line there, people are nuts! The sandwich at Subway was $4.05 and the deli I'm not positive because I bought beer too, but I'm thinking it was probably between 5 to 6 bucks. It's money well spent because the sandwich is twice as big and you can actually taste the ingredients!
@Ruben Dutch: That's a great scene! I haven't watched that movie in a long time, I'll have to put it in my NetFlix queue. And as I told Spike, the sandwich was four bucks, but it's not a bargain because it's a shit sandwich!
@onemorefoldedsunset: That does it, no Artichoke for me!
Well you didn't even need to go as far as a taste test,,,I knew Subways was garbage all along. Its for the masses and they always win because the public is stupid,,,,when done in a huge way they always win. I always get a sub at a local sub shop,,,,more meat,,,more cheese,,,more veggies,,, what else can I say,,,,People eat at Subways because of marketing,,,,plain and simple,,,,not quality,, this is easy to figure out.
Al makes me want to kick Jared in the nuts !
ALICE IN CHAINS!! Now thats something I can attach a memory to.
Subway is everywhere. I'm surprised they didn't put it in the MArs Bar building.
You guys are so lucky that you can buy beer almost anywhere...chemists, delis, papaya joints, schools....you name it!
Brothers looks like a real slice of the NY that I miss so much. Great sandwich.
Great post....
hey, just drink that sol already, Marty!
In college there was a dairy that had the best ever subs. So thick you couldn't get your mouth around them. And fresh cookies with them. And a pickle spear. Damn I miss that place. I have too many memories associated with food. And I eat at Subway way too much. Loved the comparison post.
@Al: I just wanted to drive the point home with pictures. I hate to see places like It popping up in the city. Every time a chain store succeeds, it hurts the local businesses.
@GENE: Ha ha ha! I do sense a tad of anger in Al tonight!
@Clacky: Tonight I will drink the Sol and toast both you and Britta!
@kari: Food and restaurants do trigger memories! Glad you liked the post!
been hangin' back until a price comparison was posted...4 bucks for that offerin' from subway makes that $35 double gin and tonic sound inexpensive...nice "experiment"...were findings a surprise?...
could not believe that line for artichoke...thought you all have a two boots in the area...see that they have opened one in baltimore and brooklyn...
off topic...hey MAD sorta figured it was a typo last night...was just jerkin' your chain...
"Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods."
~Bruce Carlton
rr
Damn straight. I'll take a corner deli over Subway any day of the week. Actually, I'd take most things I find on the corner over Subway any day of the week. That's some nasty ass shit. Just say no.
@rr: No surprises last night, except there were about four people in there eating when that deli where I got my sandwich was about 30 seconds away on foot. And they didn't look like they were there because they had to eat bargain food, like Al said, they were there because they've seen ads on TV for it. That line at Artichoke is a joke, kind of like the Shake Shack, people think it's cool to wait in it. Not only do I like tonight's quote, I live it!
@Fat Al: Come Sunday, we'll all be saying, "schnitzel!"
Great Comparison , & funny there is Subways in Toulouse , but no Deli to make Sandwiches , you need to go to Bakery to get Sandwich , which are really Good , since I had one once when I was returning to New York last trip . Maybe I should go & shoot some shots of Subway in Toulouse & get same Sandwich & see if it's the same .
OK My request , Nathan's Famous VS Papya King !!!!
http://nathansfamous.com/PageFetch/ VS http://www.papayaking.com/
Cheers
@Jason: Send in the shots when you get them! And I'll try and do the hotdog challenge soon. Send me an email when you get a chance, I can't find your address.
That Brother's sandwich looked like it was licking its own chops! I used to work at Subway back when I was in high school. At that time, none of the joints baked their own bread, but at least the meats and veggies were fresh, and everything was sliced in-house, deli-style. Now I'm pretty sure everything comes pre-sliced/shredded/chopped/whatevs. And it seems to me that you end up, more often than not, with a shiny residue on the meats, browned lettuce, crystally tomatoes, etc. Plus, they pre-measure everything so you get, literally, a sheet of meat. It's true that Subways are franchised, and the owner might be one of your neighbors, but taste tests do not lie and I'd have to go with Brothers on this one. Although I'd probably end up walking a different direction and going to Katz's. That sliced pastrami's to die for.
Hi Marty, I just went to Avainti's and grabbed a couple of gondola's for dinner after reading this.
@tehennessey: I'd love a gondola right now! Enjoy!
Gumby, x-ray googles, shamwow man, Charlie Manson!
Man, I wish we could switch lives for a day! You have all this cool crap and I never save anything!
I know I'll never get to New York and see your stuff. Ha! You probably wouldn't let me in, anyway.
That's O.K. I am a bit of a loose cannon. Ask Greg the Batman. He'll validate that statement.
However, next to you come to Pekin, look me up. I probably won't let you in my house but I will definitely buy you a beer at The Hole In The Wall Saloon! Great gritty shit is what you write, brother! Great gritty shit! Love it!
Your friend,
The mannydanny.
@Danny Maness: Thanks Manny Danny, I look forward to that beer at the hole in the wall!