October 17, 2011
Chain stores and restaurants continue to overtake Manhattan. One of the reasons I wanted to live here was to escape places like 7-11, T.G.I. Fridays, Bed, Bath and Beyond and Trader Joe’s, but now you can spit in any direction and hit one of those generic stores. One of the latest places to invade the city is an IHOP on 14th street. So far, I’ve avoided walking by the place and was pretending it wasn’t there, but I’ve been inspired by the movement on Wall Street and I knew one thing had to be done: Occupy IHOP! And I’m not going there alone. This whole thing was suggested by fellow EV Grieve commenter and blogger, Lux Living and I’m meeting him and his partner in front of the Blarney Cove for pre IHOP drinks, so let’s be on our way.
And we're off, it's a straight shot down 14th Street to the Blarney Cove. A path I've walked many times in my life.
And here we are at the Blarney Cove. I met Lux and his partner in front, but they didn't want to be photographed because:
A. They're camera shy.
B. They’re wanted by the law.
C. All of the above.
D. None of the above.
E. Nobody told me there was going to be a pop quiz here today, this sucks!
They don't like you taking pictures in here, but I snuck this shot. The bar was pretty empty since it was Sunday night.
After a few drinks we made our way to IHOP. As you can see, they're not shy about signage on the block.
Inside the dining room has a brightly lit, interrogation room/shiny abortion feel to it.
And here's the booth we chose to occupy, Gumby is the first to take hold of the booth.
And the protest begins!
Corporate pancakes suck! Telling it to the man!
Huh?
Aaaahhhh!
As long as we were occupying the booth, we decided we may as well look at the menu. Yikes, someone get this stack of pancakes a Tampon before they bleed all over the eggs!
Lux ordered the Philly Cheesteak sandwich and onion rings, which we guessed is nothing more than a well-decked sandwich made up of Steak Umms and processed cheese. I do want to take a moment here and note that our waitress, April and all of the people that work here are super nice and friendly. It doesn't make up for the food or the fact that an abortion like IHOP is here, but whatever gods are out there, please have mercy on the staff of people that have to work here. I ordered a pancake...
Aaahhhh!
Further Reading: Lux Living, EV Grieve, Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York and Grub Street.
(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you! Link supplied by Crazy Eddie.)
36 Comments
Reader Comments (36)
BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!! This entire post is hilarious, I don't even know where to begin. You are very very brave men entering Ihop. It looks even more depressing and awful in there than I had imagined. Stick it to the pancake man!
Pancake face man is the BEST!!! Looks awfully depressing in there.
Blarney Cove ! ..... that makes up for everything else !
http://youtu.be/rnvGWHbPtZ0
@Lindsay: If you do decide to enter this place, bring sunglasses, it's brighter than a child prodigy in there!
@Melanie: Glad you liked Pancake face man, one more character for MAD!
@GENE: Agreed! When in doubt...go to Blarney Cove!
@Jaws: YouTube is blocked here at work, I'll check it out when I get home, thanks for sending it!
Awesome! The Frieda pancake sign was the best.
Fun report Marty! A minor hairsplitting quibble: I have been arguing that the 14th St IHOP is technically not in the East Village because it is on the north side of the street - kind of in the same way that the south side of Houston would be LES, not East Village
A losing battle, I know ...
Hilarious post! It looks like it smells like disinfectant in there. You are a brave man.
I saw that IHOP on 14th for the first time last week, to which I said to no one in particular, "What the FUCK?" Great post, M. Whadda dismal waste of Formica® that dump is, and speaking of dumps, I'm not going to ask, so please don't tell us!
@Britta: That was my favorite too, just because it was the most ridiculous one.
@Handel: I appears it's in a corporate pancake land of its own!
@jco: Thanks, one weird sidenote is that they don't serve butter with the pancakes. The atmosphere is a whiter shade of bland in there, yet surprisingly there isn't a disinfectant smell in there, but it feels like a detention hall with syrup inside.
@Ned Sparks: Ha! Don't ask, don't tell, gotcha!
Blarney Cove,,,,enough said. Your picture inside the Cove is going on my desktop background now, a real bar.
Re north 14th street (Third ave and below) being EV or Gramercy . This is my logic. Both sides of Houston are the LES. Both sides of 14th Street are the EV. Capice?
What is the pink stuff making up Pancake Man's mouth? Wait...never mind, I don't want to know.
Can you still taste/feel the grease?? I barf just thinking about it.
Breakfast got flap jacked.
Where are our silver dollars?
@MAD: "...an abortion like IHOP is here," Ha ha ha
The disgruntled pancake face is killing me. That's how my lower intestine felt this morning!
@Al: Blarney Cove does say it all!
@Crazy Eddie: Capice and thanks for the surprise linkage!
@Goggla: I felt even worse than I usually do this morning and that's saying a lot!
@csp: Look at the menu, the abortion is on top of the pancakes!
@Lux Living: Great hanging you with you last night, lots of fun! Glad to be with you on your maiden visit to the Blarney Cove!
Eyeballs on a pancake? That's bananas!
Must I say once again, BEST MARTY POST EVER!?!?!
I saw the IHOP this weekend and it made me feel icky. It was so sad and desperate. And you gotta wonder why joints with recognizable, pop cartoony logos and imagery IHOP, Dunkin' Donuts...) throw them away for generic 80s beigeness. Hospital chic? Retro 80s awesomeness? Nofuckinclueness?
Classic post. Vile food. Bravo!
Hey OX pass the eggs pass the butter pass the PANCAKES
@Biff: "Eyeballs on a pancake? That's bananas!" Ha ha ha! You still gots it Bifferoonie!
@Grade "A" Karen: Thanks! Lux and I were talking about how there's so many choices to go to get something to eat in NYC, why would anyone go there?
@onemorefoldedsunset: Vile is the word! Grease too, to quote John Travolta.
@tehennessey: Ha ha ha! That's from the Mad magazine parody, right?
@Everyone: Thanks for the nice comments and thanks to Lux Living and EV Grieve for the idea to go there. Lux is writing a review for EV Grieve and I'll post a link when that goes up.
Yes....short mort
a classic MAD post...that said i must say that i have "visited" an IHOP or two after copious beers shots or a combo thereof..."any port in the storm"...can overstand the feelings of it bein' part of the nyc "scene"...as an outsider observer it appears to me that nyc's administration has invited this corporate input as have the uk france china guatemala i could go on ...but "around the corner and around the globe" sums it up....blah blah blah...(apologize if the followin' offends any in any way shape or form)...
Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience stems mainly from having breakfast at the International House of Pancakes.
~Pat Buchanan
rr
@Lux - A cheesesteak? I thought you were a veggie?
@tehennessey: At first I didn't get it/remember it, but that was one of the greatest parodies Mad ever did!
@rr: Thanks and no offense taken, at least from me. Perfect quote! A lot of people don't know it, but Pat Buchanan and Hunter Thompson were friends.
we still can be friends...how many strange bedfellows can we name?,,,a list way to long to compile at MAD....don't start me up 'cause i'll never stop...
rr
@rr: I'm brain-dead after a long night at work and can't think of any. It's now time for beer, cheers!
Sweet. The Frieda pancake sign is my fav too and made me laugh. Sadly IHOP is one of my son's favorite restaurants. I try to pretend it doesn't exist or is always closed. I'm screwed once he can read open signs.
@kari: Invest in some sunglasses when he learns too read. It's blindingly bright in there!
didn't you're mother ever tell you NOT to play with your food!?!
so funny!!!!
@Green Monkey: That's just one of the many things she told me that I routinely ignored!
green monkey...only after the first fruit fight ahh before that spaghetti on the ceiling was accepted...yea it's done...
rr
The East Village is a state of mind. One or two blocks don't make any difference. Blarney Cove at 8 AM is spectacular (as is the I-Bar or Milano's).
@Uncle Waltie: I've been to the Blarney in th AM and it is a spectacular place to be!
Oh God, the 14th Street IHop.....If you lived in one of the apartments behind this hellhole, you'd be praying for the day when the "Going Out Of Business" signs go up. The noise from the equipment never, never stops, and the smell! The SMELL!!!! My apartment stinks like a cheap hotel kitchen after the breakfast rush now. If you own an apartment in one of the neighborhoods slated to get their very own IHop (I'm looking at you, Limelight neighbors), sell now. Because once the doors open on the new grease palace, you'll be trapped. No one will buy your place once they see, hear and smell what's going on.
@Mary: So sorry to hear about your IHOP pain. They are truly evil and hopefully Karma will smack them in the face and they'll go out of business.