April 28, 2011
When you live here in New York, you don’t do a lot of the stuff that people who visit here do. For instance, unless I have a specific reason to go there, I avoid Times Square like the plague. I’ve written about how I don’t like the bright, shiny, family-friendly area that it’s turned into and I just don’t like to be there. But, some of the stuff there may not be so bad after all, how would I know? I’ve never really checked most of the new stuff out there. I’ve decided here at MAD that every once in a while, I’ll do something called: “Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out.”
Tonight I thought we’d visit Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Odditiorium deep in the heart of Times Square. I wanted to make sure they were open late, so I went to their website and went to find their answers on their FAQ page of their website.
But...believe it or not, that question wasn’t asked. So I tried calling and...believe it or not, I accidentally called the fax number and got my fucking eardrum blown out. Finally I found out that...believe it or not, they’re open till one in the morning!
And so, let’s find out if Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Odditiorium is a: Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out.
This place is within walking distance from work. Straight up 7th avenue to 42nd street.
Someone alert the fire department, terrorist's have set Lady Gaga's tits on fire! Run and hide!
Okay, here we are at 42nd street, we'll hang a left...
And run into a giant McDonald's sign.
Yeah, save up a lot of dough for a trip to New York and then eat in McDonalds. Warning though: They don't have the McRib in here.
And, believe it or not, here we are.
I like this sign, maybe this place will be cool.
I rarely do as they've led me down so many empty rabbit holes through the years. Okay, let's check this place out!
Wow, they've got Joey Ramone's right tennis shoe on display in here. I don't believe it!
Holy cow! A big stuffed cow! I don't believe the stuff in here! They should rename this place, "Crazyville!"
Wow! A big metal hand! And I can touch it! Excuse me, Ripley's people...I don't believe this! It's pure insanity!
Holy smokes, a picture of a guy with a big cigar...UNBELIEVABLE!
Look at this unbelievable fat woman who probably hasn't washed her private parts for decades. I bet she doesn't smell very well at all. This is all just too hard to believe!
it's a statue of a giant horse! Ripley's, stop toying with my sense of believability! Because, quite frankly, I don't believe any of this!
Holy shitballs, a flying crocodile! Do you believe this shit? Because I truly don't!
Am I really looking at this crazy elephant or is my mind just totally blown? I don't know what to believe anymore after all of this!
Wow, look at this crazy cylindrical device. Okay, I'm screaming. "Uncle" and getting out of here! You got me Ripley's! I can't believe this place even exists!
And the craziest thing of all, I spent close to thirty bucks to look at that shit...I don't believe it! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.
The Verdict
Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out?
Souvenir!
I thought that everytime I go on one of these tourist expeditions I'd buy a souvenir from the gift shop. Tonight I got this little glass. I figured it would probably cost around $9.99. I was shocked when I found out it was only $4.99. I couldn't believe it!
Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Odditiorium
234 West 42nd Street (between 7th and 8th Ave.)
212-398-3133
Further reading: Ripoff Report, Wikipedia, Grunnen Rocks and Cher.
You might also like: Winkin’, Blinkin’ and Nod.
Four Famous Lies
I am not a crook!
I did not have sexual relations with that woman!
Read my lips, no new taxes.
I’m married to Morgan Fairchild.
I don’t know how to write a big hit song,
And the crossword puzzles well I just shun.
-----------------------------
Bonus Photo!
Gene Rubbico from the BBC shot this photo when he and Smoopy visited here a couple of weeks ago. It's the Flatiron Building and it's one of my favorite buildings in New York. I've never been able to get a decent shot of it, but Gene took this beautiful photo. Thanks for sharing it, Gene! See you in May!
47 Comments
Reader Comments (47)
Great idea! What a ripoff, I don't BELIEVE it! LOL!
P.S. Loved the XTC clip, forgot all about them! And great shot Gene!
I don't believe that there is a wax figure of Gabourey Sidibe there and not at Madame Tussauds. Precious.
I think I'd rather spend $41 for a double gin & tonic than visit this craphole.
I've been to another Ripley's location ... the only thing that I couldn't believe is the amount of time and moola I wasted --- which is precisely why I'd rather stumble upon some guy who has a collection of monkey paws and jackalopes in his jacked-up trailer in the middle of West Virginia.
Ripley's is like a fake-boobed chick who makes you buy her drinks all night but doesn't put out vs. the slightly worn-looking girl at the end of the bar who is already drunk and ready to take you home.*
*Not that I would know. I'm a girl ... and straight, but I couldn't think of an equivalent using men because they'll always go home with you whether you buy them a drink or not.
Believe it or not, the dude with the big cigar is Ripley himself, I believe.
Great post, Marty. Tourist traps are a great subject and NYC is swimming in them nowadays, though it'll be hard to find many that stay open to 1am I fear.
Can you write that $29 dollars off on your taxes as an unbelievable ripoff deduction or something? You were rooked big time, Marty. Thanks for the warning should I ever make it to N.Y. This blog really is a public service you know.
“Look at this unbelievable fat woman who probably hasn't washed her private parts for decades. I bet she doesn't smell very well at all. This is all just too hard to believe!”
***Does a double take***
What the fuck! Mom?
I like the “PROUDLY FREAKING OUT FAMILIES FOR 90 YEARS” too, Marty.
I’m thinking we should steal it, no really. I have a cunning a devious plan: I’ll create a diversion by faking a cerebral hemorrhage, while you abscond with the sign.
Very cool Flat Iron pic!
@Barfly: I had forgotten about XTC and happily stumbled upon the video by mistake.
@csp: Okay, who's Gabourey Sidibe? I refuse to Google it!
@GENE: I hear you and thanks again for the Flatiron photo!
@roadsidewonders: Perfect analogy! The monkey paw trailer sounds like a place worth checking out!
@Ned Sparks: I was surprised this place was open this late. Maybe others are too, I will investigate!
@Jaws: I need to ask my accountant, at least I saved the receipt.
@Harry: ***Does a double take***
"What the fuck! Mom?" Ha ha ha! I like your sign stealing idea! When you get back here, we need to try it out!
@MAD Google it, I promise it will be worth it.
@roadsidewonders A hahahah. Math.
@roadsidewonders; Hey, I live in a trailer park and we've GOT one of those monkey paw/jackalope trailers...it's just two doors down from the neighborhood meth lab!
@csp: Just Googled it! Precious, indeed!
OMG. I am crying laughing at your comments under these photos. "Holy shitballs, a flying crocodile! Do you believe this shit? Because I truly don't!" AHHAHAHHAHAHhaHahHah. Total Tourist Trap, Marty!!
And, all I have left to say is Credit Card Building = Holy Phallic Symbol.
@Gene: I agree,,,the $41 double gin is a better deal. @MAD: It was a good trip for us to see this crapola thru your eyes and wallet. Don't fret about it,,,I went out and had two new tires put on the car, bill was $292 and just a few years ago you could buy four for that price. The Elvis with Nixon,,,Elvis was stoned on dilaudid and placidils when he went to see the Prez,,,in search of an official DEA badge,,,and Nixon gave it to him, Elvis said he wanted to help fight the war on drugs,,,,yeah by taking as much as he could get.
Photo 16 , I believe it's photo 16 , Is Hindu God Ganesha .
Oh & 30 bucks for that was not worth it at all , looked like a 25 Cent show .
Ganesha is the Hindu god of swizzle sticks.
I'd Rather Be At Wall Drug.
@Meleah: "Credit Card Building = Holy Phallic Symbol." Ha ha ha! Too true!
@Al: "Elvis said he wanted to help fight the war on drugs,,,,yeah by taking as much as he could get." Ha! I agree!
@JHwang: It still would've been a ripoff at 25 cents!
@Apu: TO GANEHSA!
@Biff: What's Wall Drug? That one flew over my flimsy brain.
$41? that could have been 4 private booth dances from the old times square, believe it or not...
Wall drug is a large and relatively famous (at least in the midwest) South Dakota tourist trap...like a hybrid cross between a Walmart and a trailer court monkey paw - jackalope display.
@esquared: I believe it and I remember it!
@Jaws: Thanks. Biff is ignoring me...sob!
Thanks for the post Marty about Ripleys...I am going to be arriving in NYC a week from today and have a very limited time frame for site seeing and it's been good to see some of the things "not to see". Can't wait and maybe my daughter and I will be able to meet up with the infamous Marty Wombacher while we are there. I'm guessing from all the time I've spent following your blogs that is probably one of the things worth trying to do!!! If that's a possibility let me know! :")
I missed the Wall Drug reference...but yes...it's a tourist trap of epic proportions in South Dakota, actually if you are traveling from the East it's the beginning point to the beautiful Black Hills... you just got to stop. A large dinasaur is seen from the interstate exit...lot's of "fun/interesting" things to see (not really), but they have Wall Drug signs telling how far (distance) to Wall Drug all over the World. I just wish I was the lucky South Dakotan that got to put them there. LOL
@Just Kim: Stay away from Ripley's for sure! I really doubt I'll be able to meet up as I'm working during the week and I've got plans both days on the weekend, have fun out here though! You'll love it! Now I'm off to go meet my parents!
Hay Marty , Happy Day's Off , & I went to look for you today @ work & saw Lou , then realized I Forgot .
Holy arse ballz! I believe that I'm truly lucky to have missed the odditorium in our times square wanderings.
What a fucking gyp. You got *hornswaggled, Marty.
*Hornswaggled= Getting fucked over by the man.
I hate 42nd Street there ... but the McDonald's is a good spot to use the restroom ... and I always seem to wind up in Modell's there and buy something :( Otherwise - it's just a gateway to get to Hell's Kitchen :)
Joey Ramone played tennis? Really?
4:00am tonight...it's still dark...you should do the royal wedding for the post!! And all it will cost you is some budweisers in your appt!!
I'd venture to guess: Elvis knew (along with Pat, Spiro and BB Rebozo), knew what a Tricky asshole smelled like.
yo! unbelievable! UN-BELIEVE-A-BALL !!!!
but.... oh .... !!!!!! what's that lace neck I've got????? WOW Ganesha!!!!!! and.... and.... what's that statue on my bookshelve???? SHIT! Ganesha! and what's that poster over my bed? GANESHA !!!
aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE GANESHA ALL OVER MY FUCKING PLACE !!!!! I THINK I AM A GANESHA ADDICT!
what about to shave Jason's dick hair in a ganesha shape and ask 100$ to have a look !!? THIS WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLE!!!!! hahahahahahahaha mowaaaarf mouhahahhahahahaa :D
man what a rip-off...man i feel for MAD....in a way it sorta reminded me of paying $0.50 to see rosy rotten crotch expose herself at the county fair...
I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.
Douglas Adams
I myself do not believe in explaining anything.
Shel Silverstein
rr
hoistin' one to GENE ...nice bonus shot
@Smoopy: I'll be coming here to get away from the royal wedding!
Am I the only one really really sad to see that pic of the mouse in the trap? :*-( Maybe replace it with a cartoon pic? Gonna start crying soon..
"Well you know that it's a shame and a pity
You were raised up in the city
And you never learned nothing 'bout country ways,"
rr
@JasonHwang: Nice to be off for the night with my parents!
@Clacky: It's all part of the service I'm providing here: I get ripped off so others don't.
@GENE: A gateway to Hell's Kitchen—A great way to describe the new Times Square!
@Smoopy: I'm staying as far away from that as I can! But thanks for the suggestion!
@Harry: Are you trying to say you don't believe it there? And Elvis should know a thing or two about a tricky asshole, he died on the porcelain throne and all!
@Zioum Zioum: TO GANESHA! And thanks for the mental image of Jason's...well...you know what, I'm going to get sick over here.
@rr: Your quotes almost made the expedition worthwhile!
@Roger Paw: Are you happy now? I don't want to make anybody cry over here!
Have fun w. the parents! Glad you checked this out for everyone. All your stuff is great, but I nominate your top 3 posts to date as (fanfare sounds) Show World, Charlie Sheen Show, & Mars Bar!
@onemorefoldedsunset: Thanks, we had fun, we always do. One of the things I love about doing this blog is that some nights turn out kind of magical and steer themselves. Those three are definitely good examples. It doesn't always happen, but when it does it makes me happy I'm spending the time doing this.
If that's New York's most fascinating, unique and exciting attraction, I might just stay in PA next month. Nice shot Gene. Awesome analogy @roadsidewonders!
@kari: This is not one of New York's finest attractions, the Mars Bar is!
@Marty: Believe it or not: Joey's left tennis shoe is on display at Wimbledon
Picture Joey and Dee Dee Playing tennis
@Marty: Yes, Elvis did.
PS The Ramones assholes smelled like Converse All-Stars, and I'm speaking from experience.
@Harry: Gabba gabba hey now!
@Priscilla: That's nice to know. You brown noser you!
$29.34.
I just don't fucking believe it!
I think you were "Ripleyed Off"
@"Boris:" Ha ha ha! Good one, Daddio!
Sorry for ignoring you, Marty! I was busy hunting jackalope!
@Biff: Well then, all is forgiven!