April 28, 2011

When you live here in New York, you don’t do a lot of the stuff that people who visit here do. For instance, unless I have a specific reason to go there, I avoid Times Square like the plague. I’ve written about how I don’t like the bright, shiny, family-friendly area that it’s turned into and I just don’t like to be there. But, some of the stuff there may not be so bad after all, how would I know? I’ve never really checked most of the new stuff out there. I’ve decided here at MAD that every once in a while, I’ll do something called: “Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out.”

Tonight I thought we’d visit Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Odditiorium deep in the heart of Times Square. I wanted to make sure they were open late, so I went to their website and went to find their answers on their FAQ page of their website.
But...believe it or not, that question wasn’t asked. So I tried calling and...believe it or not, I accidentally called the fax number and got my fucking eardrum blown out. Finally I found out that...believe it or not, they’re open till one in the morning!

And so, let’s find out if Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Odditiorium is a: Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out.

This place is within walking distance from work. Straight up 7th avenue to 42nd street.

Someone alert the fire department, terrorist's have set Lady Gaga's tits on fire! Run and hide!

Okay, here we are at 42nd street, we'll hang a left...

And run into a giant McDonald's sign.

Yeah, save up a lot of dough for a trip to New York and then eat in McDonalds. Warning though: They don't have the McRib in here.

And, believe it or not, here we are.

I like this sign, maybe this place will be cool.

I rarely do as they've led me down so many empty rabbit holes through the years. Okay, let's check this place out!

Wow, they've got Joey Ramone's right tennis shoe on display in here. I don't believe it!

Holy cow! A big stuffed cow! I don't believe the stuff in here! They should rename this place, "Crazyville!"

Wow! A big metal hand! And I can touch it! Excuse me, Ripley's people...I don't believe this! It's pure insanity!

Holy smokes, a picture of a guy with a big cigar...UNBELIEVABLE!

Look at this unbelievable fat woman who probably hasn't washed her private parts for decades. I bet she doesn't smell very well at all. This is all just too hard to believe!

it's a statue of a giant horse! Ripley's, stop toying with my sense of believability! Because, quite frankly, I don't believe any of this!

Holy shitballs, a flying crocodile! Do you believe this shit? Because I truly don't!

Am I really looking at this crazy elephant or is my mind just totally blown? I don't know what to believe anymore after all of this!

Wow, look at this crazy cylindrical device. Okay, I'm screaming. "Uncle" and getting out of here! You got me Ripley's! I can't believe this place even exists!

And the craziest thing of all, I spent close to thirty bucks to look at that shit...I don't believe it! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

The Verdict

Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out?

Souvenir!

I thought that everytime I go on one of these tourist expeditions I'd buy a souvenir from the gift shop. Tonight I got this little glass. I figured it would probably cost around $9.99. I was shocked when I found out it was only $4.99. I couldn't believe it!

Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Odditiorium
234 West 42nd Street (between 7th and 8th Ave.)
212-398-3133

Further reading: Ripoff Report, Wikipedia, Grunnen Rocks and Cher.

You might also like: Winkin’, Blinkin’ and Nod.

Four Famous Lies
I am not a crook!
I did not have sexual relations with that woman!
Read my lips, no new taxes.
I’m married to Morgan Fairchild.

I don’t know how to write a big hit song,
And the crossword puzzles well I just shun.

ARCHIVES

-----------------------------

Bonus Photo!

Gene Rubbico from the BBC shot this photo when he and Smoopy visited here a couple of weeks ago. It's the Flatiron Building and it's one of my favorite buildings in New York. I've never been able to get a decent shot of it, but Gene took this beautiful photo. Thanks for sharing it, Gene! See you in May!